Metaphors For Meteors

2010-01-27T20:27:00.002-05:00

While preparing for a lesson I was researching the subject of wrestling with God’s sovereignty over suffering and came upon this message by Tim Keller, of Redeemer Presbyterian Church in New York City. I found it to be incredibly comforting, filling my heart with beautiful perspective. I hope this speaks to yours as well.

SERVICE OF REMEMBRANCE AND PEACE
FOR 9-11 VICTIMS’ FAMILIES
Ground Zero/St. Paul's Chapel
Dr. Timothy J. Keller
Sept. 10, 2006

As a minister, of course, I’ve spent countless hours with people who are struggling and wrestling with the biggest question – the WHY question in the face of relentless tragedies and injustices. And like all ministers or any spiritual guides of any sort, I scramble to try to say something to respond and I always come away feeling inadequate and that’s not going to be any different today. But we can’t shrink from the task of responding to that question. Because the very best way to honor the memories of the ones we’ve lost and love is to live confident, productive lives. And the only way to do that is to actually be able to face that question. We have to have the strength to face a world filled with constant devastation and loss. So where do we get that strength? How do we deal with that question? I would like to propose that, though we won’t get all of what we need, we may get some of what we need 3 ways: by recognizing the problem for what it is, and then by grasping both an empowering hint from the past and an empowering hope from the future.

First, we have to recognize that the problem of tragedy, injustice and suffering is a problem for everyone no matter what their beliefs are. Now, if you believe in God and for the first time experience or see horrendous evil, you rightly believe that that is a problem for your belief in God, and you’re right – and you say, “How could a good and powerful God allow something like this to happen?”

But it’s a mistake (though a very understandable mistake) to think that if you abandon your belief in God it somehow is going to make the problem easier to handle. Dr Martin Luther King, Jr., in his Letter from Birmingham Jail says that if there was no higher divine Law, there would be no way to tell if a particular human law was unjust or not. So think. If there is no God or higher divine Law and the material universe is all there is, then violence is perfectly natural—the strong eating the weak! And yet somehow, we still feel this isn’t the way things ought to be. Why not? Now I’m not going to get philosophical at a time like this. I’m just trying to make the point that the problem of injustice and suffering is a problem for belief in God but it is also a problem for disbelief in God—for any set of beliefs. So abandoning belief in God does not really help in the face of it. OK, then what will?

Second, I believe we need to grasp an empowering hint from the past. Now at this point, I’d like to freely acknowledge that every faith – and we are an interfaith gathering today – every faith has great resources for dealing with suffering and injustice in the world. But as a Christian minister I know my own faith’s resources the best, so let me simply share with you what I’ve got. When people ask the big question, “Why would God allow this or that to happen?” There are almost always two answers. The one answer is: Don’t question God! He has reasons beyond your finite little mind. And therefore, just accept everything. Don’t question. The other answer is: I don’t know what God’s up to – I have no idea at all about why these things are happening. There’s no way to make any sense of it at all. Now I’d like to respectfully suggest the first of these answers is too hard and the second is too weak. The second is too weak because, though of course we don’t have the full answer, we do have an idea, an incredibly powerful idea.

One of the great themes of the Hebrew Scriptures is that God identifies with the suffering. There are all these great texts that say things like this: If you oppress the poor, you oppress to me. I am a husband to the widow. I am father to the fatherless. I think the texts are saying God binds up his heart so closely with suffering people that he interprets any move against them as a move against him. This is powerful stuff! But Christianity says he goes even beyond that. Christians believe that in Jesus, God’s son, divinity became vulnerable to and involved in – suffering and death! He didn’t come as a general or emperor. He came as a carpenter. He was born in a manger, no room in the inn.

But it is on the Cross that we see the ultimate wonder. On the cross we sufferers finally see, to our shock that God now knows too what it is to lose a loved one in an unjust attack. And so you see what this means? John Stott puts it this way. John Stott wrote: “I could never myself believe in God if it were not for the Cross. In the real world of pain, how could one worship a God who was immune to it?” Do you see what this means? Yes, we don’t know the reason God allows evil and suffering to continue, but we know what the reason isn’t, what it can’t be. It can’t be that he doesn’t love us! It can’t be that he doesn’t care. God so loved us and hates suffering that he was willing to come down and get involved in it. And therefore the Cross is an incredibly empowering hint. Ok, it’s only a hint, but if you grasp it, it can transform you. It can give you strength.

And lastly, we have to grasp an empowering hope for the future. In both the Hebrew Scriptures and even more explicitly in the Christian Scriptures we have the promise of resurrection. In Daniel 12:2-3 we read: Multitudes who sleep in the dust of the earth will awake….[They]… will shine like the brightness of the heavens, and…like the stars for ever and ever. And in John 11 we hear Jesus say: I am the resurrection and the life! Now this is what the claim is: That God is not preparing for us merely some ethereal, abstract spiritual existence that is just a kind of compensation for the life we lost. Resurrection means the restoration to us of the life we lost. New heavens and new earth means this body, this world! Our bodies, our homes, our loved ones—restored, returned, perfected and beautified! Given back to us!

In the year after 9-11 I was diagnosed with cancer, and I was treated successfully. But during that whole time I read about the future resurrection and that was my real medicine. In the last book of The Lord of the Rings, Sam Gamgee wakes up, thinking everything is lost and discovering instead that all his friends were around him, he cries out: “Gandalf! I thought you were dead! But then I thought I was dead! Is everything sad going to come untrue?”

The answer is YES. And the answer of the Bible is YES. If the resurrection is true, then the answer is yes. Everything sad is going TO COME UNTRUE.

Oh, I know many of you are saying, “I wish I could believe that.” And guess what? This idea is so potent that you can go forward with that. To even want the resurrection, to love the idea of the resurrection, long for the promise of the resurrection even though you are unsure of it, is strengthening. I John 3:2-3. ‘Beloved, now we are children of God and what we will be has not yet been made known. But we know that when he appears we shall be like him, for we shall see him as he is. All who have this hope purify themselves as he is pure.’” Even to have a hope in this is purifying.

Listen to how Dostoevsky puts it in Brothers Karamazov: “I believe like a child that suffering will be healed and made up for, that all the humiliating absurdity of human contradictions will vanish like a pitiful mirage, like the despicable fabrication of the impotent and infinitely small Euclidean mind of man, that in the world’s finale, at the moment of eternal harmony, something so precious will come to pass that it will suffice for all hearts, for the comforting of all resentments, of the atonement of all the crimes of humanity, of all the blood that they’ve shed; and it will make it not only possible to forgive but to justify what has happened.”

That is strong and that last sentence is particularly strong…but if the resurrection is true, it’s absolutely right. Amen.

Source http://davidkpark.wordpress.com/2006/09/26/timothy-keller-transcript-the-problem-of-suffering/.

2010-01-13T11:12:00.004-05:00

Blogging’s been the lowest thing on my priority list this Fall. I’ve blinked and 6 months have flown by along with a collage of experience, growth, and challenge. On Saturday afternoon, I was given the gift of an afternoon/evening by myself and planned to make good use of it by trying to set our house in order for the next assault of busyness, and decided I wanted to listen to a book on mp3 while I worked.

I generally like to listen to music when I clean and I thought about pulling up a fun playlist but on reflection thought maybe something spiritually encouraging would be good. I’ve mentioned in the past that I like to listen to Miette’s Bedtime Story Podcast and have enjoyed the diversity in literature and literary styles that she offers so when I stumbled upon a new podcast I was pleasantly surprised that it promised to deliver some great reads. The Podcast is called LibriVox and I’ve just downloaded Anne of Green Gables and am thoroughly enjoying the book. The sweet and innocent Anne and her love of life have given the last few days a lightness that was sorely needed.

Another other podcast worth mentioning is Great Books. If you’re an avid reader but have a busy life and an ipod, you just might enjoy the world of podcasts too.

2009-11-09T06:24:00.003-05:00

When tragedy strikes those we know or love, we can often feel powerless to help them. What can we possibly say or do to comfort and help those who mourn? The following articles answer some questions on how to help people through the loss of a loved one. They are provided by BASIS, an outreach of Handi*Vangelism.

What is grief?
What can I say and do to help the healing process?
What will hurt the healing process more than help

Grief Can Be . . .

* an overwhelming sense of loss
* like walking through a dark tunnel
* an inability to find your way out of that tunnel
* loneliness, emptiness, and sadness
* a feeling of hopelessness
* letting go
* anger and denial
* asking "Why?"
* losing a major part of yourself
* turning toward God
* turning away from God
* tears and more tears
* normal

Grief can be all of the above and more. It may take all of your energy to grieve for your lost loved one. Every person's grief becomes an individualized journey of feelings, emotions and responses.

In John 11, a story unfolds in the town of Bethany, home of Lazarus, Mary and Martha. Lazarus became very ill and died. When Jesus arrived, His soul was grieved because His dear friend had died. Jesus wept with Lazarus' sisters, Mary and Martha. Jesus was modeling for us that grief is a normal reaction to the loss of someone you love. His tears mingled with the tears of other mourners and He was not ashamed to express His true feelings.

You may find that coping with those same feelings in grief can be overwhelming. Here are some practical suggestions which may help you through your grief journey:

* Don't put a timetable on your grief. Allow yourself the freedom to grieve as
much as you need to for as long as you need.
* Allow the tears to flow.
* Don't make any major decisions during the first year.
* Talk about your loved one.
* Express your true feelings with a trusted friend who is willing to go the
distance with you.
* Set small attainable goals for yourself.
* Plan ahead how you will spend anniversary dates and holidays.

You do not have to travel alone on your grief journey. God provides hope for your suffering. Reflect on the following verses that promote God's hope in the midst of grief:

* Isaiah 43:2: Even through much suffering, God is always with you.
* John 14:27: There is no need to feel alone and afraid because we have God's
peace.
* Psalm 23:4: Grieving the death of a loved one can be overwhelming, but God
walks beside us every step of the way.
* 1 Corinthians 15:26: God promises that death is the last enemy to be destroyed.
* 1 Thessalonians 4:14-18: We can experience grief with hope because of the
death and resurrection of Jesus Christ. If we believe in the hope of Jesus
Christ, then heaven becomes a place of wonderful reunions with our loved ones.

Trusting God with your grief can bring both peace and comfort. Jesus, God's Son, experienced grief so He knows what you are going through. May you find rest knowing that God cares for you and desires that you seek Him for hope and comfort.

© 1999 Handi*Vangelism Ministries International

Things That Heal

"I can't begin to understand."

"This verse has been a help to me. Maybe it will be an encouragement to you . . . " (Written down on a notecard and given or sent to the individual would be best. Then he/she can read it when he/she feels up to it.)

"I'm so sorry. I can't imagine how much you hurt."

"I really care about your heartache."

Touching.

Giving freedom for tears. (They are so therapeutic.)

Giving freedom for anger and questions -- even against and about God.

Giving freedom for talking about the loss. (In the case of a death, the one who experienced the loss often fears that the deceased loved one won't be remembered. Talking about the deceased loved one is very important and very healing.)

Placing no restrictions on the time of the grief process. (The real work involved with grief actually takes place 4-5 months after the loss and may continue for 18 months, depending on the type of loss and the people involved.)

Responding very practically to needs:
bring food, paper goods, other staples to home
babysit
housesit
clean the house
make home repairs
take car for inspection, tune-up, etc.
iron
food shop
give certificate for dinner out with spouse/friend

Saying nothing rather than saying the wrong things.

Share a picture of or a little story about the deceased loved one with the family. (It helps preserve happy memories.)

Send cards -- always add a personal note.

Send cards on birthdays, anniversaries, any special occasion that will be especially difficult for a hurting person. (Imagine the pain for someone approaching the death date of a loved one. Imagine the pain for someone approaching the anniversary of his/her marriage after a divorce has taken place. Now imagine how much it would mean to know that you are thinking about him/her and praying for him/her on that day. A card or note to the hurting individual would indicate this.)

Remember siblings -- including grown up ones who are not living at home because they also have hurts. Take them out for a special treat. Help the family plan birthday or other special occasion parties so they won't get lost in the shuffle of grief.

Be ready to drop what you are doing when someone needs you. PEOPLE SHOULD ALWAYS COME BEFORE PROJECTS.

Accept the person where he/she is. (Don't expect others to respond to a situation the way you might or the way someone else has, even if the circumstances are similar.)

Do something special for someone; or give something to someone or some organization in honor of the memory of a deceased loved one -- not just at the time of death but months and years later. Let the family know you are doing this. It will really lift their spirits. (i.e. take a basket of food to a needy family in honor of a deceased loved one. Let the family of the deceased one know you are doing this.)

Avoid fixing blame even in your own mind. It's dangerous and pointless.

Organize relief care for a family with a handicapped child. The parents and siblings need opportunities to be relieved of the care of the child from time to time.

Pray for a hurting individual. Drop him/her a note to tell him/her you are praying and what you are praying for. (Be careful not to be pious in this.)

Project yourself into hurting individual's situation --never to say you understand but just to give yourself sensitivity and discernment in speaking and acting. For example:

imagine the pain of being deformed or physically scarred in some way -- think
about how it feels to be ridiculed or shunned or stared at

imagine spending your life in a wheelchair -- think about how special it would
be to have someone sit by you to converse with you

imagine that you have difficulty speaking because of cerebral palsy or a
stuttering problem -- think about how appreciative you would be if people would
give you whatever time you need to express yourself

imagine that you are mildly mentally handicapped -- think about how much you
want to be treated with dignity

imagine that you are divorced -- think about how poor your self-image might be
when you face others

© 1999 Handi*Vangelism Ministries International

Things That Hurt

"It's time to get on with your life." "It's time to snap out of this."

"I know just how you feel." "I understand."

Quoting Romans 8:28. (It's not that we don't believe it -- it's just very difficult for someone grieving to hear it at the wrong time. Make certain you know the context of the verse. It will help you to use it appropriately.)

"Don't you think you've grieved long enough?"

"You blew it!" (Insensitivity at the time of divorce, separation, or even accident.)

Placing blame -- "It's your fault." "You are letting others down."

"If only . . . " (Everybody can be a Monday morning quarterback.)

Prevent individual from asking questions -- being angry with God.

Avoid the individual because you don't know what to say or do.

Offer advice.

"It's never God's will for a Christian to suffer." (What do we do with Christ's suffering which was clearly God's will?)

Giving pat answers. (There usually are none. You can't always explain God's ways so don't try.)

Forcing forgiveness. (It's important to healing but forcing it only complicates things.)

Kick 'em while they're down! (This happens so often in the Christian community when a brother or sister falls.)

See yourself as God's "messenger" or "ambassador" rather than His instrument. (You have to approach a hurting individual with much sensitivity and compassion -- not with an "I have it all together" attitude.)

Interpret sadness/depression as weakness or lack of faith.

"If only you had enough faith . . . " (How much is enough? A grain of mustard seed isn't much. Additionally, God heals because of the faith of others too. See Luke 5:20.)

"If there's anything I can do . . . let me know." (Most grief stricken people don't know what they must do, much less what someone else might do for them.)

"You're young. You'll get over it." "You'll have other children."

Avoid mentioning the deceased one's name.

"At least you have other children."

Change the subject when the deceased is mentioned.

With a miscarriage -- "At least you never really got to know this child. It should hurt less."

© 1999 Handi*Vangelism Ministries International

2009-10-13T20:03:00.003-05:00

Breathe.
Lean into the
trial or pain you endure;
for there are treasures
hidden for us in the dark places
by the one who loves us.
Take your time.
Cry your tears.
Tell God what you need to tell him.
He sees your hurts and hears your cries.
You are his precious child.
Remember that you're dear to him,
remember you are forgiven.
Live for Him
out of the immense spring of gratitude
that wells up within the believer
when grace is fully realized.
Every trial is a mixed cup,
both bitter and sweet
of which we sip
the mercy of His Spirit.
Grow.
Trust.
Live.

2009-09-21T19:13:00.004-05:00

I love it when the Lord gives me a full screen look at myself. I like to think that I'm an open, honest, good-natured soul with a winsome spirit and I want to be seen as one who has it together. But to be honest-- sometimes I get a little puffed-up. I am by nature a fairly self-centered person, and know this about myself and want to be other than I am, but there it is.

The past two weeks I’ve been listening to the four Gospels on my ipod while going through the solitary parts of my days. Yesterday I listened to the first half of the Gospel of John and was so stricken by his beautiful telling of Jesus’ ministry that I couldn’t think of much else during the day today. I wove it into my teaching and was feeling great about myself and life by 3:00 pm. I had had a good day-- I'd motivated, challenged, and inspired the young. After school, I had a fairly good homework time with Marla and was thinking that this living in the moment with Christ thing was pretty satisfying. Success. I had my act together.

Then I walked the dog.

Just a block from our home is a rather busy street that has a good bit of traffic for a residential road. There is a very nice sidewalk that many people use as part of a neighborhood dog-walk. As I walked our dog down the sidewalk I noticed that his harness was askew and needed adjusting. Squatting down on the low embankment I began to work on the harness, but somehow lost my balance and fell over sideways and then on to my back… in a dress. Awful.

Mortified, I climbed back to my feet as the cars whooshed by. I found myself laughing aloud as I mentally replayed the topple in slow motion. It was humbling. All of a sudden I wasn’t so cool-- my ego had been downsized to a minuscule portion just when I was starting to feel like I had it all together. I was looking at my outward appearance and feeling pretty foolish.

I’m thankful to the Lord for reminding me of how silly I am on my own. I am thankful for his grace which enables me to truly get back on my feet and walk as if I'd never stumbled. I'm thankful that when He fills me with his truth, no amount of condemnation from the evil one can keep joy from my heart. I'm forgiven-- free. I need him every minute to redeem the time and remind me of whose I am.

2009-08-31T16:06:00.003-05:00

What’s For Dinner?

Last night as I prepared some pork chops for grilling I was thinking about the rub recipe that I generally default to and was uninspired. My taste buds were begging for something new and different. Thinking through the ingredients that were readily available in the refrigerator and pantry I decided to Google ginger and pork chops and after scrolling through a few entries landed on one that promised to be a winner. Quick, easy, and delicious! What more could I ask for?

Ginger and Honey Glazed Grilled Pork Chops

4 pork chops, 1 1/2 inches thick
1/3 cup honey
3 tablespoons soy sauce
1 tablespoon vegetable oil
2 cloves garlic, minced
1 teaspoon powdered ginger or 2 teaspoons fresh grated ginger
1 teaspoon sesame oil

Preparation:
Combine marinade ingredients in a small bowl. Place pork chops in a shallow glass dish. Pour marinade over chops, cover, and allow to marinate in refrigerator for 1-3 hours. Preheat grill for medium heat. Remove chops from glass dish and discard marinade. Place chops on a lightly oil grill rack and allow to cook for 20-25 minutes, turning once.

*These pork chops are not only simple, but really delicious. Though you can use any kind of pork chop you wish to, center cut is recommended for this recipe.
Prep Time: 12 minutes
Cook Time: 25 minutes

Served with Jasmine rice, black beans, and sliced kiwi-- Delicious!

2009-08-16T18:50:00.002-05:00

“We write to taste life twice, in the moment and in retrospection.” ~Anais Nin

“You were off all summer—you should have been writing!” chided my erstwhile friend. What could I say? It was true. I did have 8 weeks off, and only really had one week where I was away. Why haven’t I been writing? I had great intentions, surely, and I sat down at the computer countless times. Yet, each time I’d try I’d find myself dry, empty of beautiful words.

Earlier in the year I abused my voice by teaching on laryngitis and by the end of the term I sounded like a carton a day smoker with constant throat pain and hoarseness. After seeing an ENT and a Voice specialist, it was decided that I needed two full weeks of voice rest. I am a very relational person, and communicate for a living. Two weeks of voice rest had about as much appeal for me as two weeks of bed rest would for an athlete; but I did it. The first 10 days were unremarkable albeit long, then Marla caught a throat infection and I came down with it too resulting in an additional two weeks of quiet time. Now, I’m not complaining, really… there are treasures to be found in the silence when you listen, and I uncovered quite a few; however, I found a melancholy had descended upon my spirit that didn’t lift when the silence ended. The long season of quiet brought about sadness that I just couldn’t shake. I read uplifting books, worked at the church, listened to beautiful music, worked in the yard, and played with our child, but all under a gloomy cloud.

Somehow in the passage of the last week it has begun to lift. The stress has lessened and the enjoyment of creativity reawakened. I’m thankful for the return of enthusiasm and passion for each day’s undertaking and a lighter spirit and for the grace of God that never departs even when I’m low. Words are returning, beginning to flit through my mind like dry leaves stirred by the breeze.

2009-06-28T20:36:00.008-05:00

Sandcastles

When I was very young my mother taught me how to build sandcastles. There was something immensely satisfying in packing the moist sand into a bucket, forming turrets and walls, and then decorating them with coquina shells that seemed like tiny pastel butterfly wings. We'd add spires and designs by scooping up wet handfuls of sand by the surf and dripping small bits on in little glistening globs. Each one seemed like a work of art to me.

Last Summer, we played with sand art just a bit on the beach while we vacationed in Sanibel. A small starfish took me over an hour to make, and a giant swordfish took us all day. We collected close to 1000 shells to create that one.

Last night, a friend sent me some pictures of sand art from the Cannon Beach Annual Sandcastle contest on the coast of Oregon. It takes patience, vision, and skill to create something truly beautiful. The creators of these incredible sand sculptures truly possess those attributes and more!

If you'd like to see more, you can check out the contest's website. The photos are simply amazing!

2009-06-26T08:50:00.010-05:00

Summer often brings out the hedonist in me. I love the break from the intensity of teaching and the time I have to slow down, enjoy life and my family, and do things that simply bring me pleasure.

Yesterday I decided to take an impromptu trip to the beach. We’re only about 45 minutes from the East Coast, so I was thinking of maybe driving over to New Smyrna with Marla and her friend Elle. Just as we were preparing to leave, my husband called on his way home from work to let me know that the weather over there was less than favorable. Not to be daunted I decided to drive another 40 minutes and head over to Clearwater. Although I dislike the traffic in the Tampa area, it was definitely worth it!

If I could have my wish, I would live on the Gulf Coast beach. I love the warm water, the seashells, the sugary sand… all of it. Maybe it has to do with the nostalgia it evokes, having spent much of my childhood on the Sarasota/Bradenton beaches, but I think it is possibly something more. Sitting on the beach, listening to the surf, looking out over the vast expanse of water while birds dip and wheel overhead is like medicine for my spirit. Troubles seem to blow away with the breeze and my heart feels lighter, younger, and free.

It gives me such joy to see the same transformation of spirit take place in my daughter, who smiles incessantly from the moment she steps onto the sand until her head hits the pillow at the end of the day. I found myself smiling in unison with her as I watched her cavort in the waves and surf, laughing with exclamations of delight as she gave herself to the wonder of the day.

I’m thinking we just might do it again next week.

2009-06-15T08:18:00.009-05:00

What Blew In With the Storms...

A few weeks ago we had some fierce storms roll through our area resulting in five days of constant rain and frequent lightning. It reminded me of hurricane season when after the initial blast of storms we’d be besieged by rain. I generally like a rainy day or two as I enjoy sitting by the window watching the stormy winds toss the branches of our live oaks, making them dance and sway as if they were moving to some wild melody that only they might hear, but after a few days I find my enjoyment waning as I have to get out in it to go to work, take out the trash, or walk our dog.

One evening after several days of intense rain I ventured forth into the stormy weather to walk our dog Amos. Moving down our street with our golf umbrella held almost as a shield in the gusty rain, I heard a pitiful mewling coming from our neighbor’s yard. As I neared the bushes it seemed to emanate from I saw a little white blur bolt past me and disappear around the corner. I tried to follow, but soon gave up as the intensity of the storm drove me back home toward shelter. That evening I lay in the bed thinking about the poor animal and the predatory birds that I often see in our neighborhood. My husband surmised that someone had probably dumped some kittens nearby and said that he’d heard one earlier in the week but had been unable to catch it. We agreed that if we heard it again we’d try to rescue it and take it to the animal shelter where maybe it could be adopted.

Several days of chasing a feral kitten in the rain ensued with no success, until one evening as I prepared to slog through the rain to take Amos out once again for his walk I heard it’s cries emanating from our carport. Grabbing a flashlight I peered underneath Don’s ATV to see a thin, sick, and frightened little thing, her eyes almost swollen shut and her ears showing signs of having been in at least one skirmish. Marla brought some cheese out and we placed a little under the edge of her shelter, which she immediately gobbled up. We laid out a little trail of cheese leading to a small animal carrier, watching her dart out to grab a piece and then retreat to her shelter. When she finally reached the carrier we were able to close the door behind her, and then gave her a little canned tuna and water. The following morning we took her to our vet who confirmed that she was indeed sick with eye and respiratory infections. His advice was to see if she could be socialized into the family, which made our Marla incredibly happy, and after two weeks, our little kitten (now named Mercy) has won our hearts and provided our dog Amos with a playmate and our daughter with a sweet cuddling friend.

2009-04-30T21:41:00.004-05:00

Teach me your ways O Lord,
That I may love those who persecute me,
Pray for those who wish to do me harm,
And live in a manner that reflects whose I am.

May I never stop learning about your mercy and grace.
May the beauty of your Word always lift my spirit,
May I know your peace all my days.

Show me my sins that I choose to ignore--
The ones that I hide so well as to even fool myself.
And help me to reflect your beauty in humilty.

For you are wisdom, power, holiness, goodness, and truth.
You speak and the very elements of nature obey you.
You set the stars in their places and the planets on their paths.
You made all things.
Nothing can escape your hand.

Yet you love me intimately, as if I were your only child.
You cause me to draw breath and know every fiber of my being.
I am held together by you.

Help me to love you truly as you love me,
And to love others with the same love I feel for myself.
Help me to forgive for I have been forgiven much
and to rest in your love which you have lavished on me.

2009-04-01T22:09:00.005-05:00

I’ve been cleaning the house this evening, trying to restore some order to the inside as I’m hoping to play outside in the yard next week over spring break. I started in the dining room, moving a lamp or two around and rearranging a few photos that were clustered on a side table. Stopping, I picked up Jesse’s picture and ran my finger along his face, brushing away the dust on the glass. Peering intently at his eyes, drawn into their blueness, I drank in the curve of his cheek and the sweet twist of his crooked smile, so like my own. His hair was lifted by the breeze and he was glancing down at the sand smiling as he watched the water rushing toward his toes. If I closed my eyes, I could remember that moment—hear the surf—almost remember the sound of his voice. My throat began to tighten and my heart pounded with the familiar aching that has been a companion for such a long time.

This Memorial Day weekend marks the 10th year that we have been without Jesse in our lives. Some days I think of him in passing, and others I can think of no one else. Tonight, looking at his picture I was ambushed by the intense desire to hold him, smell his hair, and lace my fingers with his small ones. The gift of time has helped with the searing intensity grief, but there are still times when the waves of sorrow break over me and I am pulled down by a rushing current of pain. However, these times also provide a much needed gift— although laden with anguish, they bring with them memories that are achingly sweet, and give me the opportunity to remember him anew, mixing joy with sorrow.

I haven’t been able to write much about him yet, but I thought I might post a picture.

I miss you Jesse.

2009-03-23T16:23:00.016-05:00

OCS London Choir Trip 2009

Day Four

The figure of speech “saving the best for last” definitely applied to our last full day in England! We were up early and enjoyed a full English breakfast at the Limply Stoke Hotel. Following breakfast we loaded up the coach and set off for the city of Gloucester for a performance at Gloucester Cathedral. This would be our last performance on the trip and we were eager to sing. The cathedral was built in the Norman style at the center and then in the Gothic style in all surrounding areas.

Upon entering the cathedral, our eyes were immediately drawn to the magnificent stained glass windows.

Looking to the right we saw the ornately carved pipe organ.

We had just a few minutes to look around before it was time to assemble for our concert. Taking the time to warm up and focus, we prayed as a group and then began our performance. The choir sang beautifully, their voices filling the cathedral. It was a moving experience for the students and for those in the audience and we were thankful to be able to end with such a positive and uplifting concert. The picture below was taken just as we were taking our places to warm up and pray.

One of the many things that captured our imaginations were the finely sculpted images found on both the interior and exterior walls.

We had a little time after our concert to explore the cathedral and grounds, finding a beautiful courtyard which offered us an opportunity for taking pictures.

Leaving Gloucester, our spirits were high—we’d had a great performance and had been touched ourselves by the music and the time in the great cathedral. Our afternoon would be spent in Stratford-upon-Avon, the birthplace of William Shakespeare, and then at Warwick Castle, the oldest castle in England.

We saw thatched roof cottages in Stratford, and were amazed by their charm. A thatched roof was always “signed” by its maker with a specific pattern cut into the thatch near the apex of the roof.

The city was charming with its Victorian storefronts, whitewashed walls, and lovely gardens. We took in the sights and found some lunch in small groups. Although our time there was short, it was definitely memorable.

The last stop of the day would be Warwick Castle!

The castle was built in the 11th century and was the fortified residence of William the Conqueror. It was sold in the 20th century to Madame Tussauds Wax Museum and was restored at that time. The kids had a great time exploring the castle and its grounds.

This would be our last night in England. We loaded up the coach and drove to our hotel in Coventry. The hotel was located next to the St. Michael's cathedral in Coventry, which we’d wanted to see, but made it in too late to visit. Don, Marla, and I strolled over to peer through the gates to look at what remained of the once glorious cathedral. The Lufwaffa bombed the cathedral in Coventry during WWII and what remains is now a memorial to those who lost their lives in that attack.

A new cathedral has been built to replace St. Michael’s and has this figure of the Archangel Michael in victory over Lucifer.

Tomorrow would bring a pre-dawn departure for London Heathrow. What a week we’d had! Our hearts and our minds had been enlarged by this experience—we’d seen places we’d only heard of, sung in glorious cathedrals, shared God’s message through song, and grown as people. We hope to take what we’ve learned and put it to use in our lives and our music.

2009-03-18T08:15:00.012-05:00

London Choir Tour 2009

Day Three Stonehenge, Salisbury, and Bath

An early morning departure had us checking out of the Hotel Ibis and boarding a coach for Salisbury. The drive took us out of the city and into the countryside and we were able to make a stop at Stonehenge, the great monolithic circle of stones that have stood sentinel since before the time of the Roman invasion.

Along the way we saw many barrows (burial mounds) that are an integral part of early British folklore and tradition.

“Construction of Salisbury Cathedral commenced when the bishopric was moved to Salisbury from Old Sarum in 1220. By 1258 the nave, transepts and choir were complete. The magnificent west front was ready by 1265.

The tower and spire were completed in 1320. Salisbury Cathedral's spire is the tallest in England and is 404 feet tall. The spire, while the cathedral's crowning glory, also proved to be its most troublesome feature. Together with the tower, it added 6,500 tons to the weight of the building. But for the addition of buttresses, bracing arches and iron ties over the succeeding centuries, it might well have suffered the fate of spires on other great ecclesiastical buildings and fallen down. To this day the large supporting pillars at the corners of the spire can be seen to bend inwards under the strain.” SacredDestinations.com

The kids had a fantastic time touring the cathedral and exploring the cloisters.

Our next stop would be the picturesque city of Bath!

On arrival, we headed for Bath Abbey to sing in their afternoon recital for visitors. We found this to be our most challenging concert, as the standing area we were asked to use had very difficult visibility between students and director. This was good for the students, teaching them to think through performance challenges and make purposeful decisions to be successful. After the recital, we walked through the city in small groups, looking for a good place to try for dinner and to get in a little shopping time—the first opportunity we’d had to do so.

There were street performers in the plazas and we saw a fiddle playing, bicycle riding, tightrope walker, a flame-juggling unicyclist, and an incredibly talented violinist.

While in Bath we visited the ancient Roman baths that the city was known for. A good portion of the structure has stood the test of time and the springs that fill the bath are still hot. Archeologists have uncovered a vast network of baths, rooms, and what they suspect could have been a small temple. The springs of Bath were said to have healing properties and many people have made pilgrimage to bathe in its waters over the centuries.

We moved on to our next hotel in the Cotswold hills and settled in for the night. The hotel’s picturesque exterior promised a quaint night’s stay, but the interior was a warren of tiny corridors, twisting stairs, and odd-smelling rooms.

What a day! We headed off to devotions and bed thinking of the rich history of this country and of the beauty we’d seen. We had one more full day to go and couldn’t wait to take it in.

2009-03-10T07:40:00.021-05:00

London Choir Tour 2009

Day Two

We got up early on Sunday, ate a quick continental breakfast, and then walked several city blocks to St. Andrew’s Fulham Fields Church to lead in worship, providing the music for the Lord’s Supper.

We arrived about an hour before worship so that we could rehearse and make any last minute adjustments for the service. The interior of the church was truly beautiful. There was an intricately carved and gilded panel that ran floor to ceiling behind the choir, and the area from which we sang was richly appointed.

Most of our students had not participated in an Anglican Mass and were amazed by the rich liturgy used as well as by the copious amounts of incense that was dispersed through the room by the young attendants.

After singing our two songs for communion, the priest asked if we’d sing the Gospel number we’d just sung again at the end of the service. We gladly complied and moved forward to sing just before the benediction. We enjoyed a time of fellowship with the churches' parishioners after the service and took some group photos to commemorate our visit.

The rest of the day would be spent viewing the Tower of London! Our first stop of the afternoon was Tower Bridge. This historical bridge is often confused with London bridge. London bridge was actually sold to the US years ago-- the story goes that the US actually thought they were getting Tower Bridge, but ended up getting something else completely.

We huddled up for a group picture just before entering the Tower of London!

Moving inside, we saw the priceless Crown Jewels of England.

In deference to the ancient legend and the decree of King Charles II at least six ravens are provided with Raven's Lodgings at the Tower of London. A Yeoman Warder, or Beefeater, has the specific role of Ravenmaster at the Tower and takes care of their feeding and well-being.

Getting around the city by coach can be difficult due to traffic and parking, so with the help of our guide we quickly learned to navigate the London tube system called the Underground.

Our first foray into the tubes was a bit stressful, as we had to cross the city at a very busy time of day. The students quickly learned to line up all the way down the platform and to move onto the tube quickly before the doors closed. It’s a pretty efficient way of transport and the tube maps are color coded and easy to understand.

There is often a slight gap between the platform and the train—a voice can be heard over a loud speaker every few minutes informing all travelers to “mind the gap".

Traveling the tubes we decided to stop by a supermarket for dinner, thinking that everyone might find something to their liking to eat. However, we were unprepared for what a crowded small supermarket in London actually was like…

After stocking up on things we thought we might like to eat, we got back on the tubes and headed back to the Hotel Ibis. We debriefed on all we had seen and experienced so far in our devotions time and headed for bed. Tomorrow we would head to Stonehenge , Salisbury Cathedral, and the City of Bath.

2009-03-09T20:14:00.013-05:00

London Choir Tour 2009

Day One

February 13th, 2007, the OCS HS choir set off on a whirlwind cathedral concert tour of England. We had prepared a program of distinctly American choral literature spanning 2 centuries that were gospel oriented textually and could not wait to go perform and sing with salvation in mind for those who might hear us.

The majority of our students had not traveled abroad previously and had never seen a cathedral except through television or books. It’s hard to say what they were expecting to see, but the reality left many of them changed in some way.

We left Orlando International Airport at 1:15 pm and changed flights in Newark, NJ, connecting with an international flight to London, Heathrow, and landed at 6:10 am (1:10 am EST). The customs official in London was none too happy to see a crowd of bubbly, excited teens converge on his post, and quickly gave the order for there to be silence in the room. Looking our group over, I could see fatigue and nervous energy in the eyes of our students and couldn’t believe we’d begin touring in just a few minutes. Sleep on the plane was light at best and after a brief stop to exchange currency, we’d be on our way to Westmintser Abby.

Our CE tours guide met us at baggage claim and we quickly loaded and boarded our coach. The murmur of conversation on the bus was full of soft exclamations as we took in the trees, hills, and foliage that England is so well known for. Moving into the city itself we saw ancient buildings right next to modern skyscrapers, and row upon row of flats, while buses and cars moved with quick efficiency as people headed off to work.

Changing our money at the American Express shop was a tough economics lesson for us as the weak dollar exchanged poorly for pounds. After a quick walk around and a snack we piled back on our coach and headed for Westminster Abbey, located near Kings Cross in London.

We followed our guide around the side of the cathedral to the tour entrance and quickly moved inside. Appreciative exclamations sounded all around us as our eyes were instantly pulled upward towards the ornately decorated ceiling.

One of our choir members came up to me with tears slipping down her cheeks and declared that she was overwhelmed by the thought that man could have built such a beautiful place for the glory of God. It truly was a majestic cathedral.

Our guide lectured non-stop on the history of the church in England and surprised the students when she explained that many famous people were buried beneath the floor of the church. In the scientists’ corner we saw the resting place of Charles Darwin, and in the poets corner, Robert Browning’s and Tennyson’s to name two.

We saw the tombs of Kings and Queens, princes, knights, scholars, musicians, artists, and heads of parliament. The Abbey is a functioning church, and while we were there, prayers were offered. It was strange to be walking around, looking, talking, and listening and to then hear a call for silence toll throughout the cathedral and to have all present stop in their tracks and pause respectfully as the Priest intoned a prayer. As his “amen” faded, the talking and bustle quickly resumed and we finished our tour.

After Westminster Abbey we checked our luggage in at the Hotel Ibis London and then got back on the coaches to head over to St. Paul’s cathedral, one of architect Christopher Wren’s great achievements.

Once inside, we didn’t know where to look first. Our eyes flitted from the gilded alter to the glorious dome and then all about us as we took in the beautiful space.

We left the cathedral in search of dinner and were dropped at a busy outdoor shopping area and moved off in small groups to find a restaurant that might provide some great local food. Quite a few opted for the traditional fish and chips meal while others found Italian food to their liking.

After dinner it was back to the hotel and then a quick walk to St. Andrew’s Fulham Fields Church, where we would be leading in worship the next morning. We needed a chance to rehearse in the church and to get a standing order set up. We were met there by the Priest and were graciously allowed to practice from 7-8 pm. Walking back to the hotel, we were full of the excitement that a day of sightseeing brings, but were also ready for bed, having been up for more than 24 hours.

Falling to sleep proved to be hard for me... my body seemed to be floating on a bed that rode the same currents of air we'd traveled through the night before and images from the day flashed in my mind. Tomorrow we would lead in worship in an Anglican Church-- I fell asleep after a long while with the help of my ipod and a Key Life Podcast.

2009-02-09T10:14:00.002-05:00

A Brief Update

I have had no time to blog since the New Year began. The past 6 weeks have been comprised of 15-18 hour days 7 days a week, and I don’t see the end in sight until mid-March. In the midst of the busyness, God has graciously enabled me meet all deadlines and keep the details of life in order, although there has been a great deal of stress in the process. (If you know me, then you know what an act of divine intervention that really is!)

My HS choir students have been preparing advanced literature for their Cathedral Tour in England and are very excited that the departure date is now down to a matter of days. We are praying that God would marry our faith to the text in each song and use us to glorify Himself in the process.

In the midst of these preparations I have spent many late nights studying and writing for a women’s retreat, which took place last weekend in St. Petersburg. I’m so grateful to the Lord for His presence and aid in the sessions.

If you are inclined to prayer, then please pray for us:

That we might travel safely as a group (51 students, 16 adults, one child).
That sickness would not descend upon us.
That we might glorify our Heavenly Father in our singing, words, and interaction.
That the Lord might clear any obstacles in our path.
That our students’ lives might be enriched spiritually and their perspective broadened.
That we might return safely and in good health.
That we might be able to turn around and compete well at District Festival on February 26th and then in the ACSI Festival on March 6th.

Thank you for your prayers!

2009-01-01T16:52:00.011-05:00

Thirty Years

Don and I squeezed in a 30th Anniversary trip to Key West for a few days after Christmas. It was good to get away and enjoy one another’s company, lounge in hammocks, soak up some sun, and turn off the world. We had never been to the Keys before and truly enjoyed the gorgeous weather, beautiful surroundings, and great food.

Our hotel offered dining on the pier and we quickly reserved one of only a few tables for our Anniversary. We watched the sun set like a ball of fire into the ocean while we munched on spicy conch fritters.

The next morning we walked back out to the pier, watching the sun rise on our 31st year together.
Happy New Year!

2008-12-14T21:42:00.006-05:00

Good Dog

Tonight I gave my daughter the privilege of playing in her bed until she got sleepy. It's been a busy couple of weeks for us and she needed the destressing time. I moved into the kitchen trying to bring a little order to the house before retiring and was taking some small pleasure out of scrubbing at a stain in the sink when I heard a cheerful, "Mohhhomm" come rolling down the hall.

She met me in the hallway with a smile of delight. "I put all my animals on my bed and I made Amos a little house. Come see!"

What a sweet little guy he is.

2008-12-07T15:26:00.007-05:00

More Than A Bedtime Story

I’ve had my nose in a book from my earliest recollection. Years ago I discovered audiobooks and have listened to countless novels while driving, doing yardwork, or other tasks that afforded the opportunity. My taste in literature is pretty broad, but I find I particularly like a good story that fires my imagination.

Recently, I was thinking that I’d look for an audiobook on itunes to listen to as I move through this busy season. Scrolling through a list of possibilities I noticed the term “podiobooks”. Curious, I clicked on to discover a website called podiobooks.com. I listened to a couple of samples that were okay, but then found one that was quite a good read. Encouraged, I thought I’d see if I could find some short stories online and struck gold!

If you like classic authors and a well-told tale, check out Miette’s bedtime story podcast. Not only can you download and listen to great short stories, but you will have the pleasure of listening to one of the most beautiful spoken voices ever! I have been spellbound by her voice, phrasing, and accent, hearing them in my mind long after the story has ended. Don’t let the title of the website put you off— the stories are suitable for listening to any time of day.

She has approximately 200 stories archived on her website and the list is impressive. The recording quality is good and although you can hear the occasional dog bark in the background, or a distant cell phone ringing, the overall presentation is not diminished by the random sound.

Check out the podcast—I have a feeling that if you do, you’ll be hooked.

http://www.miettecast.com/

2008-11-25T07:50:00.007-05:00

Simply Delicious

Yesterday started out pretty blah for me. I was tired, overwhelmed by the household tasks that lay before me, and crabby in general. So when Marla asked me to take her to the park in the afternoon, my first inclination was to sigh and think of how much I really didn't want to go. However, I sucked it up, and off we went. Much to my surprise, it was exactly what I needed.

I marvel at the way the Lord has blessed us with the gift of this glorious little girl in our lives. Her zest for life and joyful spirit flavor our days with the sweetest of joys. She's simply delicious!

2008-11-17T08:06:00.003-05:00

“Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.” Matthew 5:4

Walking the dog late in the evening or early in the morning is an activity I treasure. Time to myself is a precious commodity and a walk with Amos is a chance to grab a handful and use it to admire the beauty of the heavens and the world around me. Z kindly shared his audio cd set of the Bible Experience, and I’ve listened to the Gospels through Philemon lately—it’s balm for my soul. Hearing the Word of God in this format has been a rich experience, and I look forward to the mornings that are my turn to take him out. Other times I have a musical playlist on my ipod that inspires me as it underscores the natural revelation around me.

I’ve needed these walks especially of late. There have been three deaths in as many weeks in our church body, one ending a difficult battle with cancer and two occurring unexpectedly, and in our own family Don’s cousin suffered a fatal heart attack this weekend. Just a few weeks ago, one of our sons lost a treasured friend in an accident, my friend lost her father to a stroke, and another lost her lifelong friend to cancer. People all around us are hurting, mourning the loss of ones they held dear.

Looking up at the stars in the early hours just before dawn I am reminded of the perfection of God’s creation. The stars are fixed in their places, the moon continues to rise and set in its orbit, the birds hail the coming dawn, and there is order. Although things feel as if they’re strangely occurring, I know that they’re part of God’s plan, and that just as he keeps the stars, He holds our future and will see us through this life and into the next. I don’t claim to understand all the mysteries of His plan, but I can testify to the faith that He infuses us with when we’re called to walk through difficult times.

I know the fiery pain of grief and loss, and ache for those who mourn, but I also know the comfort of Christ that is sweet beyond description in the midst of such searing pain. God uses it in a profound way to shape our spirit and prepare us for eternity with Him. Change is so difficult for us, but is a tool of sanctification in our lives.

This morning, as Amos and I ventured out into the crisp, cold air, I watched the sun rise, listened to the caroling of the birds, and remembered the faithfulness of God in the midst of our trials. My heart was still heavy for those who mourn, but my spirit was lifted, knowing that He who created all things will comfort them with his mercy and will see them safely through it.

2008-11-12T08:18:00.003-05:00

I was able to get bigger pictures of the quilts, so I thought I'd post them.

If you'd like a raffle ticket, send me an email and we'll get one to you!

2008-11-09T06:56:00.002-05:00

Christmas Quilt, Anyone?

Every year about this time, I find myself wondering how I’m going to pull off everything I have planned for the school year. It seems there’s not enough time in the classroom to get where we need to be and the days and weeks blur by as if life were on fast-forward. This year, adding the extra literature at the HS level for a sacred concert tour and missions trip in February has made me begin to feel as if I’m stuck in a revolving door. We’re making progress in every area, but it feels slow, and I’ve been waking up at night thinking about programs, kids, music, and fundraising.

We just finished our cookie dough sale and it will be delivered on Monday, and we are currently running our Christmas Tree sale for the next two weeks. The kids are taking orders for trees and will hopefully make a dent in the cost of their trip. We’re also raffling off two hand made Christmas quilts at our December 11th upper school program. Students are currently selling raffle tickets for this in addition to their tree sales. Tickets are $5.00 each or a bargain price of 5 for $20.00. Folks do not have to be present at the drawing to win, so we’re hoping to sell many, many tickets!

2008-10-19T20:25:00.006-05:00

I love three day weekends! The first quarter of school has been positive but tiring, and the economic stress of recent weeks has served to make all of us feel the fallout in some way or another. The weekend couldn’t have come soon enough and with gorgeous weather has been practically perfect. The extra day allowed me the time to work in the yard and cook a birthday meal for Daniel. After dinner Don and I hit the hammock to catch a little breeze, view the full moon, and dream aloud about creating a patio area in our backyard since we love being outside so much. We could do the work ourselves right? A little digging, level the ground, build some steps, lay the bricks, put in some landscape lighting, add the greenery, and voila! Patio! I’m not gonna lie, it sounds easy when I say it. Maybe someday.

Don worked a double shift this weekend, so Marla and I’ve been enjoying each other. On Saturday, we walked down to the St. Mary Magdalen Community Festival with some new friends from school and today I pulled vines out of the yard while she played all around me in her long dress and fancy shoes. The vines took most of the afternoon and I found myself deep in the foliage tracing them back to their roots, then tugging, pulling, and yanking them out until my pile was about 4 feet tall.

The best part of the weekend came after dinner and bath time when Marla and I decided to put on some fun music and dance around the house. With no one else home we turned it up and giggled and moved to the beat for about 10 minutes and then decided to finish it off with a little yoga to the same music. Definitely not a peaceful workout, but very fun!

It is good to be able to take the time to relax and pursue a little joy in the midst of a busy season and stressful times. One of the myriad blessings of our lives is that through our life experiences we’ve found ourselves left with a mindset that we’d often thought about but heretofore had not achieved— living one day at a time. We still think of and plan for the future, but are trying to live more in the moment with one another, the ones we love, and our Lord.

I’m thankful for the rest, for the gift of fresh perspective, and for spontaneous moments of dancing.

2008-09-19T15:37:00.002-05:00

Beautiful Truths

My spirit resonated while I read this email today. I have often had so many of the thoughts and feelings about life that Rick Warren expresses so eloquently below.

I don’t know the source for this, as it wasn’t cited in the email.

Rick Warren (Remember THE PURPOSE DRIVEN LIFE)

You will enjoy the new insights that Rick Warren has, with his wife now having cancer and him having 'wealth' from the book sales. This is an absolutely incredible short interview with Rick Warren,

'Purpose Driven Life ' author and pastor of Saddleback Church in California

In the interview by Paul Bradshaw with Rick Warren, Rick said:

People ask me, What is the purpose of life? And I respond: In a nutshell, life is preparation for eternity. We were not made to last forever, and God wants us to be with Him in Heaven.

One day my heart is going to stop, and that will be the end of my body-- but not the end of me.

I may live 60 to 100 years on earth, but I am going to spend trillions of years in eternity. This is the warm-up act - the dress rehearsal.. God wants us to practice on earth what we will do forever in eternity.

We were made by God and for God, and until you figure that out, life isn't going to make sense.

Life is a series of problems: Either you are in one now, you're just coming out of one, or you're getting ready to go into another one.

The reason for this is that God is more interested in your character than your comfort.

God is more interested in making your life holy than He is in making your life happy.

We can be reasonably happy here on earth, but that's not the goal of life. The goal is to grow in character, in Christ likeness.

This past year has been the greatest year of my life but also the toughest, with my wife, Kay, getting cancer.

I used to think that life was hills and valleys - you go through a dark time, then you go to the mountaintop, back and forth.. I don't believe that anymore.

Rather than life being hills and valleys, I believe that it's kind of like two rails on a railroad track, and at all times you have something good and something bad in your life.

No matter how good things are in your life, there is always something bad that needs to be worked on.

And no matter how bad things are in your life, there is always something good you can thank God for.

You can focus on your purposes, or you can focus on your problems.

If you focus on your problems, you're going into self-centeredness,'which is my problem, my issues, my pain.' But one of the easiest ways to get rid of pain is to get your focus off yourself and onto God and others.

We discovered quickly that in spite of the prayers of hundreds of thousands of people, God was not going to heal Kay or make it easy for her.

It has been very difficult for her, and yet God has strengthened her character, given her a ministry of helping other people, given her a testimony, drawn her closer to Him and to people.

You have to learn to deal with both the good and the bad of life.

Actually, sometimes learning to deal with the good is harder. For instance, this past year, all of a sudden, when the book sold 15 million copies, it made me instantly very wealthy.

It also brought a lot of notoriety that I had never had to deal with before. I don't think God gives you money or notoriety for your own ego or for you to live a life of ease.

So I began to ask God what He wanted me to do with this money, notoriety and influence. He gave me two different passages that helped me decide what to do, II Corinthians 9 and Psalm 72

First, in spite of all the money coming in, we would not change our lifestyle one bit. We made no major purchases.
Second, about midway through last year, I stopped taking a salary from the church.

Third, we set up foundations to fund an initiative we call The Peace Plan to plant churches, equip leaders, assist the poor, care for the sick, and educate the next generation.

Fourth, I added up all that the church had paid me in the 24 years since I started the church, and I gave it all back. It was liberating to be able to serve God for free.

We need to ask ourselves: Am I going to live for possessions? Popularity?

Am I going to be driven by pressures? Guilt? Bitterness? Materialism? Or am I going to be driven by God's purposes (for my life)?

When I get up in the morning, I sit on the side of my bed and say, God, if I don't get anything else done today, I want to know You more and love You better. God didn't put me on earth just to fulfill a to-do list. He's more interested in what I am than what I do.
That's why we're called human beings, not human doings.

Happy moments, PRAISE GOD.
Difficult moments, SEEK GOD.
Quiet moments, WORSHIP GOD.
Painful moments, TRUST GOD.
Every moment, THANK GOD.
God's Blessings on you today.

NOW. PLEASE SHARE THIS WITH YOUR FRIENDS.

Thanks for sending the email—you’ve reminded me of the many treasures to be found in the dark places of life, and of the importance of embracing joy when makes its blessed visit.

Thanks be to God.

2008-09-09T22:58:00.006-05:00

I’m happy.

I’m sitting here at the computer, smiling, and thinking of the blessings that the Lord has given me this year. I am grateful to the Lord for the recent season of rest from school, for the time I had with Don, the kids and our family, visits with friends of many years, and a week at the beach. Now there are new challenges, a full schedule, and positive growth in my children’s lives. I’ve got some nice challenges before me at school, and I hope to grow in my teaching skills and give my students a fulfilling year musically. It is enjoyable to be working with such delightful and talented children, and there are so many of them! What fun for me as a teacher! There are 41 in the 6th grade choir, 27 in the MS choir, and 33 in the HS choir, which is a huge leap in numbers for all our groups. There’s a nice dynamic in the classroom that is dressed in bright eyes amidst a sea of smiles. Already, they’re producing beautiful tone, and they recognize how cool it sounds when they all do it together. I’m still smiling.

Even more wonderful is the desire to reach the kids spiritually. (It’s also humbling and terrifying, and makes my knees weak, for I know my own struggle with sin.) We have a tremendous opportunity before us to go and take the worship of the Lord with us as our primary focus on a trip for our choir. We’re scheduled to go and sing 3-4 concerts in Cathedrals in England in February. Our program will be composed of sacred american music in the genres of Shaker Tunes, Folk Hymns, The Spiritual, Jazz, and contemporary Gospel—each song pointing to Jesus and the message of salvation. We will also incorporate Scripture and readings. Pray for these young men and women as they prepare and work toward going.

Please pray…

*that the students will be able to raise the amount of money needed to participate in this ministry opportunity

*that the Holy Spirit might captivate our hearts and minds as we digest the text and the music for these programs

*that our students might serve as lead musicians and worshippers—worshipping as they sing, presenting the Gospel in song and in Word

*that the Word of God would reach the hearts of the listeners as it rides the melodies of our children’s voices

*that we would be ambassadors for Christ everywhere we go

I’m still smiling, but now with nervous anticipation. It’s going to be a busy year!

2008-08-31T05:36:00.004-05:00

The past 13 days have been a flurry of busyness. Moving into a new classroom building at school, learning a new computer program, setting up my classroom, choosing music for the academic year, planning a choir trip to England, moving the music library twice, and still trying to get the laundry done, keep the house in order, and spend time with the family. The latter part of the list has been tough to achieve, as the pressure to get the school related work done before Tuesday has been great.

Today I must run to the store after church and get Marla’s school supplies (procrastinator that I am) and still go back to the school and choose the MS literature for the year and then do the same for 6th grade. I’m going to get it all done!

I am very excited about this coming school year—I’ve taught at the school for 15 years, and have never had a classroom to call my own. The past 3 years I’ve had to teach in a multipurpose area with no access to a desk, files, manipulatives, or technology. This year, I’m in a brand new chorus room! I have a desk, stereo, easy access to the choral library, the internet, and technological tools for teaching. Woo-hoo!

Earlier in the week I was sitting on the floor of the room, putting together the visual aids for the classroom and was reflecting on this as students dropped by and expressed their enthusiasm for our new room. I popped out for a few minutes to take care of something or other, and when I returned there were messages of love and encouragement on the board from the kids. This has to be one of the greatest blessings of teaching-- the relationships with the students that often last long after they graduate.

Last summer I wrote about beginning to find my stride as a teacher. This summer I’m excited that I now have a true place to teach and the tools to do an even better job. The ability to work and plan in the same area, easy access to materials, and being able to create a learning environment for greater musical expression are terrific motivators for success. The best part, is that over the past 4 years, our class size in the HS choir has doubled every year. We’re up to 40 and growing—viva la musica!

2008-08-22T19:05:00.011-05:00

Tropical Depression- definition: the state of mind I fall into after a week of Fay

I really don’t care for rainy weather. It makes me feel gloomy and I tend to eat more to combat the feeling of confinement that sets in after just a few days.

This afternoon after work I ventured out into the carport to get some fresh air and I saw a glimmer of hope! A patch of blue sky was peeking through the rain clouds as they moved across the sky. It was back to grey after a few minutes, but the glimpse of clear sky lifted my spirits and I felt some of the dreariness fall away from my shoulders.

The weather has even affected our little maltese mix, Amos. He has been sending me the “I need to go out” message for the past little bit. So, it’s time for me to don the big poncho and walk the dog. I’ve switched to the poncho because an umbrella is useless in this gusty rain. Walking him in this storm has been kind of funny…

Although he really needs to go, he balks when we start out into the rain, locking his legs up and refusing to move. I have to pick him up and carry him far enough away from the house for him to understand the futility of resistance. Once in the rain, he looks and acts miserable, gingerly sniffing at dripping leaves and picking up his feet like a cat. He looks at me reproachfully several times during the outing while the deluge pours around us, as if to say, “Really, no one should have to do this.”

Before walk

After walk

I'm hoping for sunshine soon.

A Little Recap

2008-08-18T15:22:00.001-05:00

I put together a little slideshow from our vacation. We had a great time-- check out our beach art!

2008-08-13T10:12:00.004-05:00

Sun, Surf, and Sandsculptures

On Monday we spent the entire day on the beach, swimming, looking for shells, and doing a little beach art. (I'll post photos this weekend.) Even though we applied 50 suncreen a bazillion times we managed to get a little cooked, sooo.... yesterday we had a no sun day and found the local mall-- a nice diversion, but we'd rather be on the beach.

Today we're going to the pool this morning and the beach late in the afternoon-- we learn quickly. We plan to try our hand at a second beach art project this afternoon. Our inspiration came from finding cool sandscuptures covered in shells while on a moonlight stroll. There were mermaids, seahorses, turtles, and a relief of the island. Very fun! We're going to start small and try a starfish.

This has truly been a restful trip. Don even did a little moonlight fishing in the surf last night-- the only thing biting was the catfish, but he still had a great time.

2008-08-11T18:25:00.004-05:00

Sanibel Serenity

How can it be Monday already? We're into our third day of vacation, although it's really just the second full day. I left the usb cable at home for the camera, so I'll have to post pictures when we return.

So far, this has been a great vacation! The weather's been great, although there has been a little rain. The bright spot is that it has blown over so quickly that we've pretty much been able to ignore it. The Gulf on Sunday was very choppy, but that didn't stop Don from fishing and Marla from sticking to him like glue. I watched her bobbing next to him in her orange "floatie" and could hear her laughter and squeals of delight from the shore. The water was rough enough that Don needed to hold on to her out in the surf, but when he'd need to reel in his line he'd let go and she'd grab his waistband, which was pretty funny to watch.

Last night Don and I went for a nighttime stroll on the beach, and found a great spot to sit and watch the stars. Someone had set two adirondak chairs amid the sea oats near the shore. The view was almost surreal, and we both declared it a moment worth remembering.

Tonight we're taking the girls down to the beach after dark for a "moon party". The moon is waxing and at two-thirds full is incredibly bright. The silvery path to the moon on the gulf, the gentle surf, and the breeze blowing the tall grasses should be more than enough to fire the imagination and create a fun evening.

I love the beach...

2008-08-07T20:57:00.002-05:00

A New Blog

I'm exited to say that we've launched a Worship Blog at Orangewood! Check it out and visit frequently. In the weeks and months to come we'll be posting on worship, our ministry team, and the thoughts that go into planning a worship service. Let us know how we're doing!

Peace

2008-08-06T07:32:00.005-05:00

A Little Vacation Time

On Saturday, we will take our yearly vacation to the beach. Earlier in the summer I whined and complained that there would be no vacation this year, as things were just too tight financially. However, the Lord provided enough money through my teaching privately in June and July to be able to swing a condo for a week in Sanibel! (I also managed to find a kind-hearted renter who would discount the rate for a week to something we could afford.) So, we're beginning to pull our things together and get excited about a trip. This year it will be just Don, Marla, Hannah (family friend), and me. Sam's job at Valencia does not include vacation time, and Dan's just started a new job, so we'll miss having them along.

The condo's right on the beach-- a first for us, so we're looking forward to sunsets just outside our door and shelling in the early mornings. We'll take lots of pictures and post them along the way if the internet service is good.

School starts on the 18th for me, so this last minute trip is a gift in many ways. I hope to rest, recharge, and find myself ready to tackle the year's challenges when we return.

2008-07-29T06:04:00.010-05:00

Family Fun

My cousin Elizabeth and her daughter Hana have been here for a visit the past week. It’s been wonderful to spend time with them and to visit. She and I took the girls to Longboat Key for two nights last week and had a great time relaxing by a pool and playing in the sand.

The beach was beautiful and for the most part, the weather was great, albeit hot. Florida thunderstorms gathered in the afternoons, and the lightning was spectacular at times.

Meals were fun at the hotel, as the local birds have found that if they stand close enough to diners they can grab scraps if they fall. Signs were posted all around not to feed the birds, and after just a few minutes, one could easily see why.

2008-07-15T19:53:00.007-05:00

A Little Summer Fun

Summer break has been wonderful—I’ve managed to stay busy between the church and teaching private voice, and have even squeezed in some serious closet cleaning and a yard sale. Marla and I got away for a girl trip for two days earlier this month when we visited with Lynette at her in-law’s home on the St. John’s River in St. Augustine. It was fun to put together a cd of driving songs and sing and laugh in the car together on the way up and back. Marla had a great time swimming with Molly and TJ and we enjoyed the hospitality of the Snell family. Watching Marla swim made me wish we had a pool—she truly loves the water.

Last week, Don and I decided to put a one-night end to our spending moratorium and went out to dinner. I searched the Internet for a new place to dine that might be nice and we hit the jackpot when we landed on Nonna Trattoria ed Enoteca on Edgewater. It is now our new all-time favorite restaurant. Often, when I think of Italian, I envision plates of pasta and pretty predictable fare, but this was so much more. The food was authentic Italian with a slight Mediterranean flare. Don ordered the Roast Pork Tenderloin, which was probably the most delicious pork I’ve ever tasted, and I had the Grouper with eggplant and artichokes in a fantastic sauce. We spent most of the meal talking about how great the food was and plotting how we might possibly return soon. Our meal was moderately priced, with entrees between $18 and $24. The restaurant is a bit cramped and noisy, but there’s a large porch that wraps around the front and on a nice evening it would be great to dine there. The interior is Tuscan in décor—simple and elegant. When we left we walked around back to see the herb garden the chef uses to cook such flavorful meals, and were impressed by its lush greenery.We will definitely go back! Reservations are a must—call a day ahead.

2008-07-02T18:36:00.003-05:00

Has anyone ever sent you an anonymous gift? Well, yesterday, someone sent one to me. A box arrived UPS from Amazon and inside was this beautiful windchime. I’ve wandered around the past day wondering who might have sent it, but there are no clues for me to follow.

So, I would like to thank my anonymous benefactor for the beautiful gift that truly touches where my heart lives. It’s lovely. Every time I hear its chimes I will think of the blessings of friends, and the gifts of God that make this life so sweet in the midst of pain.

Thank you.

2008-06-29T21:03:00.002-05:00

I love being the parent of a six year old. Each day is a grand new adventure for her, and life is unfolding in a beautiful way. It's marvelous to watch and experience.

This evening our daughter sang to me-- song after song about brushing teeth, saying goodnight, and beautiful blue skies. Shy, until now she has not wanted to sing along with either me or the radio, and has painfully endured school performances. So, when tonight after a bedtime story she suggested she sing me a song, I was happily surprised. My mouth felt caught in a perpetual smile as she created each new song and made her voice sound as musical as she could, singing with an unselfconscious freedom. Even as I write, I can hear her singing in her room— it sounds like a bedtime operetta. Such moments are intoxicating for me.

2008-06-16T18:11:00.004-05:00

Yummy!

Last summer I mentioned that I'm a whim chaser, and the successes and failures I was experiencing in the journey. I've been trying new recipes for over a year now, and I thought I’d share an absolute winner. This rub for steak is incredibly flavorful—try it!

Texas Signature Steak Rub

This recipe from Chef Kevin Williamson was the winner of the 2000 Texas Hill Country Wine and Food Festival. Use a good cut of meat, well marbled. Serves 6

1/2 cup brown sugar
1/4 cup granulated sugar
2 tablespoons dark chili powder
2 tablespoons paprika
1 tablespoon dry Mexican oregano
1 tablespoon dry sweet basil
2 tablespoons dry mustard
1 tablespoon cayenne pepper
2 tablespoons garlic

Thoroughly mix all ingredients. Rub on steaks. Cover and refrigerate one hour. (If you have the time, marinating them overnight in the 'fridge is even better!)

2008-06-10T20:36:00.009-05:00

Broadway, the Blues, Blessings, and Birthdays

Our MS/HS end of the year concert was a Broadway Revue. This year I asked our choreographer to tackle three choirs and 5 songs, and the results were amazing! It took hard work on everyone’s part (and some extra rehearsals) to make the show a success, and in the end it was worth it. I completely love it when my students are enjoying performing and this particular concert was especially gratifying. At the end of each song the kids were smiling and out of breath, their faces shining with the
joy of accomplishment. It was a good night.

Two days later we presented our Elementary Program, Music in Our World. The children sang with energy and the cute factor was tremendous. There’s something precious about watching young children perform—their singing and playing is so free.

The hectic nature of the week left me tired and open to the blues as I moved through the weekend and into a week of introspection and reflection. Tuesday, the 27th, marked the 9th anniversary of our son Jesse’s death, and the day was full of memories-- some unbidden, some shared by much loved friends, and some pursued by our aching hearts. The week seemed long, the days weighted. Tears ebbed and flowed.

Nine years ago on May 31st, we buried our youngest son. As long as I live, I’ll never forget images of that day that are seared into my mind. I remember thinking that I would always see that date on the calendar as bleak. Six years ago, on May 31st, our daughter Marla was born and placed in my arms. What had been the darkest day of my life, was covered by an unexpected mercy. This year, as I felt the weight of that date approaching, I also felt joy as I prepared for a birthday party for Marla at the park.

Graduation for our school was the 30th, Marla’s birthday eve. I went to the ceremony, expecting to hurt a bit, as I do each year at this event, but instead I was blessed. One of our school’s seniors shared her love for Christ and her class in a testimony that was awe-inspiring.

The evening progressed with beautiful music by four seniors that I love and will miss greatly as they move into their college experiences, and with fine speeches by co-valedictorians. What had threatened to be a difficult evening was instead a gift, and I left smiling.

Saturday morning I was up early making brownies for Marla’s birthday party, then scurrying around packing supplies, games, and decorations. The party was at Sybelia Point Park, a beautiful place tucked away on the north end of Lake Sybelia. Although the morning was hot, there was a nice breeze and most of the parents stayed in the shady comfort of the pavilion. The children played on the equipment, explored the dock area, and had a great time. I spent most of the morning smiling, watching them interact, and enjoying the conversations around me, finding myself grateful once again for the mercy of God in our lives.

2008-05-20T16:08:00.004-05:00

How Can I Keep From Singing?

The Elementary Music program at our school this week is on the theme of music in our world, which got me to thinking about how God has revealed himself through the beauty of the world around us and my spirit’s response to it. When we were in Turkey last year, we visited an area in the interior of the country called Cappadocia. The landscape was breathtaking, and Don commented that it was as if ethereal music rose from the very ground and echoed in our spirits. I ’ve often felt my heart sing when looking at the night sky, the ocean, or majestic mountains. When we view such things, how can we keep from singing? I hope you enjoy the video at the end of this post.

How Can I Keep From Singing?

Traditional Shaker Hymn
Public domain

My life goes on in endless song

above earth's lamentations,

I hear the real, though far-off hymn

that hails a new creation

Through all the tumult and the strife

I hear its music ringing

It sounds an echo in my soul

how can I keep from singing?

While though the tempest loudly roars

I hear the truth, it liveth!

And though the darkness 'round me close

songs in the night it giveth.

No storm can shake my inmost calm

while to that rock I'm clinging.

Since Love is Lord of heaven and earth

how can I keep from singing?

When tyrants tremble in their fear

and hear their death knell ringing,

when friends rejoice both far and near

how can I keep from singing?

In prison cell and dungeon vile

our thoughts to them are winging when

friends by shame are undefiled

how can I keep from singing?

2008-05-01T12:36:00.006-05:00

Bliss

What a month it’s been! High School Festival, Middle School Festival, teaching, working at the Church, and no time for play—until last Sunday…

I pulled into our driveway after church around 12:30, full of curiosity as to why Don and Marla didn’t make it to worship. They’d been up at 7:30 when I left for rehearsal, and we’d planned to meet at 10:30. Don’s car was in the carport, but he and Marla were nowhere to be seen. I called and walked around the house wondering where they could be when my eye registered the fact that the pickup truck that we’d borrowed from Don’s sister was missing.

I knew where they were! Changing into shorts and walking shoes I set off down the street toward the lake with my camera, hoping to catch a picture of them before they noticed me.

“Marla asked me to take her fishing,” Don said with a smile.
“I bet she didn’t have to ask twice.” I gamely replied.

They had spent several hours fishing, catching frogs, and watching the Tilapia shoot through the water.

Marla and I strolled along the shore, looking for water hyacinths that might be close enough to reach and enjoyed the serenity that the beautiful day inspired.

Later that day I reflected on the bliss that being near water brings to my spirit. Whenever we vacation, I lobby for the beach, as I can’t seem to get enough of the ocean, sand, waves, birds, and glorious skies. Time spent in such places seems to restore a sense of balance and peace to my mind and life.

We’re trying to think of creative ways to recharge this summer—we won’t be able to rent a condo at the beach this year, the budget’s just too tight, but maybe a few afternoons a week of fishing, bird-watching, and beautiful skies will be a nice substitute.

2008-04-11T04:58:00.002-05:00

Bats

Amos our dog needed walking just after dinner last night, so I took him for a stroll down the street we live on. Normally, I take him down a nearby street’s public sidewalk but last night I wasn’t feeling up to the traffic noises and busyness—better to just amble a bit through the neighborhood and enjoy the last bit of light before dusk faded to dark.

I wasn’t feeling so great— I had a monster headache and was looking forward to getting back to the house and trying to get into bed. Letting Amos sniff everything in sight takes some time, so I was looking at the sky, the moon a perfect thumbnail growing brighter with every passing minute. There was a soft, cool breeze, and I could feel the tension in my head ease just a little bit.

Something small and birdlike zipped right over my head, then again, and looking around in wonder I saw at least 10 bats swooping and chasing through the air all around me. They were graceful and their movements gave the impression of delight in their dance as they wheeled, circled, dived, and soared.

For just a few moments, headache forgotten, the stress of the day lifted, and I simply marveled. Beautiful.

2008-04-10T11:58:00.003-05:00

No more nodules. The voice rest worked! I’ve been given permission to speak, I can sing lightly this week, and then try a bit more for next week. Hooray for me!

I’ve noticed it’s a bit easier for me to be a little less verbal in a few conversations this week… surely that’s one good lesson learned from imposed silence. (I don’t know if my coworkers would agree, but I noticed that I wasn’t saying everything that popped into my head.)

During the weeks of voice rest I began to feel a bit blue and then began to feel unmotivated to stay busy and get things done. That has thankfully lifted. The best part is being able to speak with my family. I missed the intimacy that conversation brings to relationships and was feeling disconnected.

I still have a little way to go vocally, but I truly feel like the sun has come out from behind the clouds.

2008-04-03T10:23:00.002-05:00

In an earlier post I mentioned that I was on voice rest due to a bad case of laryngitis. Since then I’ve been to the ENT and found that from teaching on it I have vocal nodules. The way to get rid of them is to be silent for an extended period of time. So, I’m quiet until further notice. I have a recheck next week to see if they are diminishing, but I may not be allowed to sing for quite a while, because they can come back if I’m not careful. Thus, voice therapy will be required after the voice rest. This week has been Spring Break, so I’ve had a rest from teaching, and I’ve had some young friends over to help with Marla, which has made voice rest pretty much achievable.

Being silent is challenging. If I have something to say, I must write it down. This is frustrating, for often when I’m writing, people tend to finish my thoughts for me, which sometimes makes me feel like just not writing anything at all, as the thoughts no longer feel like my own. Writing takes time, which is hard for the less patient people in my life, who then get frustrated with me because a simple conversation takes more time than they are prepared to invest.

Being silent is also a blessing as I’m learning to be a better listener. I’ve mentioned before that I’m a talker, and have learned that I tend to talk more than listen. I do hope that lesson carries far beyond voice rest.

I’m trying to find humor in it day to day. Charades can be fun with those in my life who like to play, and my coworkers at church have had great fun with my handicap in meetings. We’ve all played with ispeech during worship planning, experimenting with different goofy voices, and laughing over the way the computer doesn’t always get it right. Even though it’s hard to be quiet, these friends have helped me smile and laugh at myself in the midst of the frustration.

So, here’s to silence—may it prove to be golden.

2008-03-24T18:05:00.002-05:00

Cinderella!

2008-03-16T19:14:00.004-05:00

Silence Is........Hard.

I have had the pleasure of being the musical director for our school’s production of Rogers and Hammerstein’s Cinderella for the past 8 weeks and our final show was Friday night. The past two weeks have been grueling for the cast and crew, but it has paid off— the kids have done a wonderful job!

I sat at the piano turning pages for the accompanist and cackled my way through the evening— the kids were full of closing night energy and had fun with their characters and songs. Throughout the performance I watched the faces of kids I’ve grown to love and respect and thought about what a great job I have. Not only do I get to help these talented young people learn about the creative beauty music brings to life, but I also get to help shepherd them through some really rocky years of their lives. It’s always challenging, but the reward is huge.

Saturday was spent sleeping in (something I haven’t done in forever) running charts for Maundy Thursday and Easter, and an hour of birthday shopping-- I didn’t buy anything, but I loved the time alone. Don washed and waxed my car as a birthday gift (I think he almost did himself in, as the construction grime from work had settled in a thick layer on my car’s red paint.) We topped off the day by going to dinner with our friends from the Westminster Brass. These great guys took me in when I was singing and traveling for Ligonier Ministries and became friends that would last a lifetime.

The complicating detail to this busy week is that I’ve been on complete voice rest while moving through tech and production week… I caught a bug near the end of January that left me with laryngitis, and teaching on it the entire month of February trashed my vocal chords. I discovered some things in the process…

I’m a talker. (For those of you who know me well, you’re probably thinking, REALLY?)

I have things to say. (ditto the aside above)

Voice rest is HARD for someone like me. I tried to write everything I needed to say, seriously, I did, but thoughts and ideas spring forth so fast, it’s impossible to write them all down. Thus, the dreaded whisper.

Whispering hurts when you do it too much, and adds great strain on the larynx. (I’ve had to stop myself a bazillion times.)

I cannot be quiet and direct the music for a show. (Duh)

Being quiet is torture for me— my mind is spinning out clever quips that I’m unable to write at the speed with which they flash into my mind.

Tomorrow I have to teach two middle school choir classes comprised of 73 6th-8th graders, and I’m trying to come up with a way to teach/review sight-reading without saying anything. I’m committed to silence… think I can do it?

2008-03-04T21:27:00.005-05:00

I have a birthday coming up, and I just bought my own present.

If the night is clear enough, Don and I venture out for an hour or so to sit in some old lawn chairs and look up at the stars. One night not too long ago I complained about the angle hurting my neck, and we tried spreading a blanket out on the lawn. That night's sky was particularly beautiful. We'd been treated to water color clouds just after sunset, and when the moon came out, the clouds wandered across it's path and created whimsical scenes. The view from the blanket was great, but the ground was hard and bumpy, and a few bugs joined the party.

What we needed was a hammock!

I found one at costco.com that suited my aesthetic tastes and met Don's functional requirements as well, but the price tag was way out of our budget. I shopped around online whenever the opportunity arose for several days, and then voila! I found it on ebay for an unbelievably low price.

Last Thursday night, I came home late from a choral festival to find that the hammock had arrived, and not only had Don put it together, but he was in it, wrapped in a hooded jacket, staring at the stars. A cold front had come through the day before, and it was currently about 48 degrees. Grabbing my jacket, two sleeping bags, and a blanket, I piled onto the hammock beside him and gazed up into the heavens. Glorious! Since then, we've hit 3 out of five nights. There was supposed to be some meteor activity but we haven't seen any yet.

Tonight was damp and rainy and Don's at the firestation, so I must wait until the next opportunity to steal an hour or so under the stars. Until then, Happy Birthday to me!

2008-02-27T05:57:00.002-05:00

See what I mean by fun?

2008-02-22T21:37:00.003-05:00

What’s It All About, Really?

Ten years ago, my husband Don finally decided to take up a hobby that was just for him. My dad gave him a Mississippi hunting license for Christmas, loaned him a gun, and off he went. For a few years he went in December and soon the trip became a biannual event. He and a buddy began to plan more and more elaborate trips, building a cabin out of a cow shed in the pasture my family owns in Newton, MS. We gradually accumulated enough hunting gear to warrant the purchase of a trailer for him to use for storage and transport.

These trips have become the highpoint in the year for Don. He plans them out, preparing for them months in advance, meticulously packs and repacks the trailer, and then sets out on his grand adventure. His entourage now consists of his buddy Matt, and cousin Mickey. It’s great to see him enjoy their company and the time away.

I often wonder what his trips are really like. I mean, what do guys do when they’re all alone in the woods? Do they read? Reflect on nature? Think about their loved ones? I know that if I were to get some time alone, that’s what I’d do. I’ve often peppered Don with questions about the trips, and have gotten some very interesting answers….

“We put up a fake deer out in the woods and Matt shot at it.”

Oh.

“We went to the fish camp and Matt ate a quart of cole slaw.”

Uh-huh.

“We went to Wal Mart and the Waffle House.”

Ah… “Did you get a deer?”

Some trips the answer is yes, and some no.

“So, what else did you do?”

“Sat in the deer stand.”

When I saw the pictures he’s taken from the various trips I truly understood. They simply play. Good old guy kinda fun-- probably the kind that involves laughter, cigars, camo, and outdoor toilets. (Maybe we should add beef jerky to that list…)

Last Fall he and Matt went duck hunting near Mosquito Lagoon on the East Coast of Florida. Rising in the pre-dawn hours they set out and spent the morning hiding in the reeds and sawgrass. I asked him if he got anything when he came home that afternoon.

“No… it was really quiet out there—we didn’t get anything,” he explained. “But we still had a good time.”

I understood just how great it was when he showed me this picture.

2008-02-19T20:53:00.006-05:00

Reclamation

I’m slowly reclaiming our yard. The uncommon luxury of a 3 day weekend combined with glorious Florida weather and softly ringing windchimes worked together to entice me to attempt to shrug off the remnants of our illness and to lure me out into the yard.

Saturday morning I ventured forth, donned my leather gloves and proceeded to clear the backyard of unwanted plants. During my grief-driven gardening days I planted many different tropical plants, trying my hand at growing plants that caught my fancy. After 5 years of neglect some had proven to be poor choices for our yard, but terrifically prolific plants! I pulled out at least 200 of one variety of a dwarf variegated ginger that had taken over the beds.

On Sunday afternoon, I tackled the ferns that had come up in the hedge along the driveway, coming upon about 10 Chinese fans that had taken root-- some coming out easily, while others had to be coaxed out of the ground. When I crawled into bed that night, I ached all over, and felt the triumph of having completely cleared the area of weeds and unwanted plants.

Monday found me clearing out the side yard beds of variegated pothos, ivy, briar, and numerous other vines. Once upon a time I had planted a lovely winding path and the satisfaction I found in restoring it to cleanliness was rich.

Each day I worked while listening to a book on my ipod. Over the three days I listened to “Icebound” by Dean Koontz, “I am Legend” by Richard Matheson, and “Coraline” by Neil Gaimon, all very different and interesting. Between books I contemplated what I want to do with the yard, and even managed to clear an area where I’d like to plant a privacy hedge, to hide the hunting and boat trailers.

Digging, pulling, coaxing, I managed to clean up the yard, and in the process uncovered some beautiful things. The spathiphyllum that I planted so many years ago were lush and large and would be a great base for lovely bedding, and the giant lariope would work well around the Drake Elm in the front yard. It was good to get out and work after these past weeks of sickness. Taking the occasional break to rest, use a tissue, and enjoy the shade made the work manageable.

Late yesterday evening I walked around the yard, surveying what I’d accomplished. Now that things were tidy, I could begin to think about creating places in the yard for retreat and relaxation. There, up in the canopy of live oak branches was one particular branch that begged for a swing. A swing! I’d always loved the porch swings that graced my grandparent’s home when I was a child, and the thought of hanging one in the yard made me smile. My dream of a yard that speaks to my spirit seemed just a little more substantial.

2008-02-12T08:01:00.000-05:00

Good Medicine

The past few weeks have not been so great. We’ve been besieged by a virus that hit first Don, then Dan, myself, and now Marla. It’s been tough caring for sick family, trying to work (quite unsuccessfully) and coping with the stress of managing all of it on top of daily life. On Saturday we took a little time to sit outside and get some fresh air, study the sky, enjoy the greenery, and listen to the bald eagle soaring overhead screaming his fearsome call.

Marla brought out some musical instruments and began arranging them on the ground: an electronic banjo, a maraca, a train-whistle, and a harmonica. She then handed Don and I instruments and instructed that when she counted us off, we were to play. Neither of us really felt like playing, but we decided to indulge her for just a few minutes.

We began to play. It wasn’t much of a song—mostly tooting, shaking, and squawking, but it was enough to fire her imagination.

“Now everybody, move with the music,” she commanded. We moved, blew, plucked, exchanged instruments, played some more, and laughed.

“Daddy, you’re supposed to stop when I cut you off!” she giggled, as Don just kept right on tooting his train-whistle, and then sheepishly dwindled away as we stared at him. More laughter.

I was grateful for the unexpected lightness of spirit that our impromptu jam session had brought—music is good medicine.

2008-01-26T21:52:00.000-05:00

Wow!

Lynette posted a loving tribute to a friend who lost their battle with leukemia this week. At the end she posted a link to this video. I was so moved by this performance that I couldn't just write about it-- I had to post it too! Thank you Lynette for this beautiful gift. It touched me spiritually and musically. Amazing.

2008-01-19T09:34:00.000-05:00

Down the street and around the corner, our neighbors have created a very beautiful garden that almost seems like an outdoor room. Bamboo hedges along the street provide a sound barrier and create an area that is secluded and inviting. Last week, they hosted a birthday party for their daughter and invited the neighborhood. Brightly colored tents colored the lawn, acoustic music floated on the air, and children stood in lines to have their faces painted or to soar on a rope swing hung perfectly from a live oak over a sloping lawn leading to the lake. It was interesting to mingle with people I’d only seen from afar and to discover small commonalities that might give us a sense of community.

I found myself drawn back into the front garden each time I’d venture forth. It was so peaceful and beautiful, and I kept thinking about how they’d done something I’ve always yearned to do. They’d created a small sanctuary in which they could sit, relax, reflect, and enjoy the beauty of their surroundings.

“Don, I want to do this in our yard,” I whispered to my husband.

“You want to line the front of the house with bamboo?” he asked incredulously.

“No… I want to be able to enjoy our yard like this.”

Silence. He was thinking. Maintenance, sod, labor, time, money… his thoughts were almost audible.

He skillfully changed the subject.

I, however, have continued to dream about my outdoor retreat.

In the long months and years that followed Jesse’s death, I found myself going outside into the yard for relief. I pulled weeds, planted plants, and dug. In the labor I strove to create some order—with every weed I pulled, I gained some small measure of control over life. It became a passion, then an obsession. It wasn’t until Marla was born that I came inside—I couldn’t care for a newborn baby and pull weeds at the same time. I’d often find myself cradling her in my arms and gazing longingly at the yard. The feeling slowly faded as time, life, and busyness filled my days.

Now, the passion for creating order and a place to reflect has returned. When I go into the yard I see possibilities and I dream. I’m grateful that the pain and sorrow that have clouded so many years of my life have not made me bitter, and that I can still find delight in the daily gifts of God all around me that testify to his greatness as the divine artist and creator.

2008-01-01T13:35:00.000-05:00

Just before Christmas we surprised Marla with a day at Disney. Her smile was brighter than any of the lights there, and the ones she bestowed upon her Dad were some of the brightest I’ve ever seen.

I spent hours pouring over music to play behind the slides, and kept coming back to this one—I’m sure it’s over-used, but it certainly echoes the delight we found in sharing the day with her.

Happy New Year!

2007-12-25T18:55:00.000-05:00

Merry Christmas

Last night was our last big program-- our Christmas Eve Service(s). The people in our Worship Ministry at Orangewood are amazing. There were luminous stars suspended from the ceiling, and the thought and planning given to the lighting and set-up of the room was evident. The music and the preaching were wonderful, and the candle-lighting ceremony richly moving. It is such a joy to work with these talented, smart, fun-loving people and to know that we share the bond of faith in all our labors.

After the services we tucked Marla into bed with promises of Christmas morning dancing in her sleepy eyes, Christmas songs playing on a cd, and the excitement of what was to come making her flop all over the bed. That done we then set about assembling the easel and paints we had bought as her gift from Santa. It had been a long day for both of us, and we needed to de-stress in our own ways. Don headed outside for a cigar and a look at the night sky. I headed back to the bedroom and decided to do some yoga and stretch for awhile before bed. I had not gone into Marla’s room to turn off the music yet—I was enjoying the mix Daniel had burned for her earlier in the week; a nice compilation of Dean Martin, Bing Crosby, Enya, Johnny Mathis, and the Chipmunks. I decided to do my stretches to the Christmas music and enjoyed the surreal quality the music gave to a yoga routine.

Christmas Morning began with a tap on my shoulder and a sweet voice asking, “Could you button my dress?”

I foggily buttoned up a velvet dress. “Are you dressing up to see what Santa brought you?”

“Yes,” Marla replied, lifting her hair out of the way.

Shuffling down the hallway and turning the corner into the living room I watched Marla walk right past the easel and paints awaiting her discovery and stop before the tree. She looked carefully around and then looked at me in confusion… where were the presents?

“Look over here…” I coaxed. Her eyes looked past me and landed on the easel and paint. Score!

The day was wonderful. Daniel came over first, and we had an intimate family gift time, some venison sausage, eggs, and coffee. My parents came over just a little later and we exchanged gifts, had some lasagna, and enjoyed one another’s company. Our sweet friends the Berrys dropped by with some outgrown toys for Marla and the gift of great company.

The highlight of the day for me came in the thoughtfulness of the gifts my husband and children gave me. A few weeks ago, Don and I were looking at the state of the windchimes in our yard. They were falling apart with age. I remarked that I would love to replace the broken ones and get a few more. He arranged for every gift for me to be a windchime. They each had a different timber and mode—deep and sonorous, rich and melodious, and even one that sounded like temple bells. We spent the late afternoon hanging them in various strategic places for our enjoyment.

Now, it’s time to get our sweet daughter off to bed. It’s been a good holiday. Probably the best in years. Merry Christmas!

2007-12-14T21:27:00.000-05:00

Preparing for big programs is always a little stressful, but I love the last few days of the process. If things have been done well, then these days are more fun than anything else. This week was truly so.

Monday morning the Elementary and Middle School music students gathered at the HS sanctionasium to rehearse for their annual Christmas Program. The rehearsal went well on the walk-through side, but we discovered we had not allowed enough time for our technician. When rehearsal ended I felt we still needed a complete run through, and was feeling nervous about the evening—the “what if” knot in my stomach was beginning to tighten.

That evening I arrived early to just spend a few moments in the room, reflecting on the objectives for the evening, and soon very energized students began to enter the building-- their excitement stirring the air. I made my way to the 7 and 8th grade green room and quickly warmed up the students, giving them a last minute pep talk before the performance was to begin, then moved to the 6th grade room to do the same.

A few minutes later I was just taking my seat as the Welcome began. Looking around I was amazed at the size of the audience-- the room was packed. The Combined 6th-12th grade band played the opening song and we were off and running. The concert went remarkably well, with just a couple of bumps. The children sang sweetly and the bands played well. It was great to see them stand tall and sing with skill, and to see the band students intently lifting their instruments and fixing their director in their sights. It was a very good night.

Tuesday morning was full of teaching and that night was the final rehearsal for the RTS Christmas Concert. The strings and organ were going to meet with us early on the night of the concert, so we ran all the numbers with just the choir, piano, and a substitute organist. It went smoothly, and we had time to iron out a few places in the music that were troublesome. Steve Brown read the Scripture passages and I could see the impact those beautiful words were having on the choir. Over the past two months we had prayed together as a group that the Lord would use this program to glorify himself and to reach the unchanged heart. Steve’s delivery was so well spoken that my heart surged with joy. The rehearsal went very well, and I prayed that the choir would adjust quickly to the strings and organ on Thursday night.

Wednesday night was rehearsal with the church’s worship team. These rehearsals are some of the funniest nights of my week throughout the year. Put Kyle, Reggie, and our team in the same room and pretty much all you do is laugh.

Thursday night came quickly. We met with the instrumentalists at 4:30 to run through the music. I slipped and fell on the risers just before they got there and hit my hand pretty hard on one of the metal chairs. I soon forgot about it as we moved through our pieces. The choir arrived soon after and we ran through a few pieces to make sure all the parts were working well together.

The program went very well. Reggie gave a warm and thoughtful welcome, the choir gave their all and sang with passion, the soloists sang beautifully, and Steve delivered the Scripture and Homily with dignity and humility. Reggie gave a moving Benediction, and I knew the Lord had answered our prayers.

Today (Friday) I had my hand x-rayed and found out that my ring finger was fractured. Ha! I knew that beat three in every song was just a little bit painful…

2007-12-09T06:31:00.000-05:00

Busy

This has been an incredibly busy couple of months—I’ve been working on two huge programs on top of my regular hours and am now in the home stretch. On Monday we will have our school’s Elementary/Middle School Christmas Program, and on Thursday our church sponsors the Reformed Theological Seminary’s Christmas concert. Throw in some rehearsals and it’s an every night out week.

The Elem./MS program promises to be sweet—the cute factor combined with what I hope will be great performances should make it a great evening out for the Parents and Families of our students. It will be a debut performance for our 6th grade choir students, and they are very excited about performing. They have worked very hard on their music, and on the fine art of standing still and concentrating on their director and on what they have to do. It’s been fun to see their progress and their excitement grow. The 7/8th grade choir is a bit further along in their skills, as this is the third year I’ve had some of them, and they have a confidence and enthusiasm that’s cool to see. I’m hoping they’ll continue on in choir in High School. I’m also looking forward to seeing all the Elementary students perform. (Particularly one shy little Kindergartener named Marla.)

The RTS program consists of a 40 voice community choir, strings, organ, piano, narration by Steve Brown, and solos by Jonathan and Amanda Noel. The theme of this year’s program is “Jesus Christ: Prince of Peace, Hope of the World.” The music’s very beautiful and our goal is to point the listener to the hope we have in Christ. We’ve been praying as a choir that the Lord would use the truth of the song texts, Scripture, and Message to open the ears of the unbeliever and encourage those who might need encouragement in these times we live in. The concert will be at 7:00 pm in the RTS chapel in Oviedo on the 13th.

Adding these two events to an already busy schedule has made the past two months blur by… I’m looking forward to a brief respite over the Christmas break. After that, we hold auditions and begin rehearsals for our High School Spring production, “Cinderella” by Rogers and Hammerstien, begin working on Spring Festival literature at both schools, and put together a Broadway review show. I’m truly looking forward to this Summer’s slower pace, but am excited about the tasks ahead. Until then, it’s busy, busy, busy.

2007-11-24T07:57:00.001-05:00

Thankful

Our Thanksgiving gathering was really pleasant this year. My brother, his wife, and their 23 month old daughter drove down from Mississippi, and my parents, our children, and our friends the Briggs family all poured into our home and filled it with fun. The children had a great time playing inside and out, and the adults pretty much relaxed and enjoyed them and each other.

Mom made her fabulous dressing and brought a cheesecake (from the Cheesecake Factory—YUM!), Kathryn brought a wonderful salad, and I prepared the vegetables and side dishes. I decided to try a new recipe for the sweet potatoes, Stuffed Sweet Potatoes with Pecan and Marshmallow Streusel. I’m going to make them every year— delicious! (Our Turkey was a smoked one from Publix—all I had to do was heat it for a few hours—it was great too.)

There’s much to be thankful for this year in our lives. I’ve been thinking about this for several days now, and I have found myself giving thanks for things great and small. I thought I’d see if I could list some of them in this post:

My husband- faithful, loving, courageous
My children- I am blessed to be their mother
My parents- truly wonderful
My brother and his family- a joy to be around
The love of my Heavenly Father
Friends- they bring laughter and lightness into my life
Work- such wonderful people!
My Students- I love having young people in my life
Health- so far so good… I’m grateful
Our home
The journey of life—I’m thankful for God’s mercy and care
Things I’ve learned not to take for granted:
The beauty of the earth and sky--
Night
Day
Morning
Evening
The ocean
Trees
The wind
Birdsong
Music
Prayer
Books
Our bed
The time we have with our children
Learning

Such a list only scratches the surface of a wealth of blessings in my life. I pray the Lord will help me keep this season’s perspective throughout the year. It really is good to give thanks, isn’t it?

2007-11-05T22:03:00.000-05:00

Simple Gifts

Last week I was run down, tired, and fighting a bug. Most of the week was spent trying to simply cope with the malaise I was feeling, keeping the family fed, the laundry caught up, teaching, and rehearsing folks at church. By Friday of last week, I was miserable, sick, and needed to stop. Trying to be a nurturing Mom wasn’t even in my thought process.

Today, feeling better with the help of the great drug Penicillin, I was breathing deeply of the fresh cool air, and finding inspiration in the sweetest of places. I finished up my deskwork about 2:30 this afternoon and looked longingly out the window at the glorious Fall weather. Marla would be dismissed from school at 3:00—I wished I could go for a walk, but there wasn’t enough time. Then the thought hit me that I could easily walk up to the school—it’s just a mile away, so I grabbed drink for Marla threw on some walking shoes and took off.

The day was refreshing—sunny, breezy, and mild. Marla was pleased to be picked up on foot and quickly took to the idea of walking home from school on a beautiful day. We walked and chatted, stopping every little bit to collect leaves, berries, and a few flowers. Along the way we saw a bitter melon vine with the most beautiful orange seedpods on it. There were still one or two pods that had yet to ripen, still green but swollen with seeds. One orange pod had begun to burst open and the seeds within were bright red. As we were walking I kept looking at our daughter’s smile. I was so grateful for the time with her—just 30 minutes of walking, laughing, and discovering, yet it was packed with bliss. I kept thinking that I need to look for more opportunities to simply enjoy her.

Once we turned onto our street it was time to skip (according to Marla), so we skipped the rest of the way home, and quickly began arranging the little treasures from our walk on the brick doorstep.

Tonight my heart is grateful for so many things… this glorious day, a 30 minute walk with Marla, a surprise visit from Daniel and the treat of simply enjoying his company for an hour, and laughing with Sam tonight after putting Marla to bed. All gifts that I didn’t think I had time for today, and each incredibly sweet. Tomorrow will hold it’s gifts as well—I hope I might have eyes to see them too.

2007-11-01T05:42:00.000-05:00

Never Mind...

The restaurant Dan works at has decided that there's not enough business on Tuesday nights to support paying a singer, so they've decided to discontinue the music on Tuesdays.

I'll post again if Dan takes another gig... until then, if you go to the Corkscrew Grill to eat a great meal, the music will be the standard background type.

2007-10-29T15:26:00.000-05:00

A Little Serenade, Anyone?

“Mom, when are you and Dad going to come out to the Restaurant and listen?”

Hmmm? What? Listen? What was he talking about?

“I’m singing at the restaurant on Tuesday nights. Didn’t Dad tell you?”

How did I miss this? I try to pay attention…

“Uh, I’m sorry Daniel. He probably did, and I’ve suffered a stroke or something.” I feebly responded with my standard answer. “Tell me more.”

Our eldest son Daniel has been serving at the Corkscrew Grill in Lake Mary and now is providing their Tuesday night music from 7 – 9 pm. We’ve been out to hear him a couple of times now and have really enjoyed the music and the food. It was a very sweet experience; eating a delicious meal and listening to Daniel cover song after song. We knew he could sing… we just didn’t know he could do this!

The restaurant is located in the Target plaza on Lake Mary Boulevard, and has great ambiance and food. I had the Baked Salmon with Ginger-Coconut Pesto, and Don had the Pistachio-Encrusted Rack of Lamb. Both were delicious. The restaurant is nicely laid out with tables, booths, and even a special area for private dining.

I don’t know how often we’ll get up there to listen—school nights are tough, but it has been a great evening each time we’ve gone. My favorite songs of the evening were “Hallelujah” by Rufus Wainwright (great song—nice cover!) and James Taylor’s “Fire and Rain”, which Dan threw into the set to make his Mom feel nostalgic. (Thanks, Daniel.)
So, if you’re looking for a nice night out, good food, and a little music, try the Corkscrew Grill in Lake Mary.

2007-10-16T12:26:00.000-05:00

Metaphors for Meteors

For the past month or so Don and I have taken to sitting outside at night. Each evening we get Marla to bed, grab the baby monitor, and head out to sit in the evening air. It’s been good for us. We study the stars and talk about our day, the kids, and life. Sam’s been a little concerned that we’re spending so much time outside… “What are you guys doing out there?” Now that the rain from the past few weeks has finally stopped, the nights have been clear and comfortable, and we’ve been spending more and more time looking up at the heavens, even taking out the telescope one night to see things a bit more clearly.

Some nights I venture out alone if Don’s working. I get such peace from observing God’s handiwork. There is an overwhelming sense of rightness that envelops me. On occasion, a meteor will race across the sky. I saw one again two nights ago and wondered who else might have noted its passing? It moved so quickly that I could have missed it if I’d not been gazing upward.

Life is that way, isn’t it? Things are happening all around us-- seen and unseen. There are moments of clarity when we manage to catch an event or revelation, but often they’re missed in the busyness of our lives. I’m learning to appreciate the wonders that surround me daily, trying to stop more often and reflect on what I’ve been shown. Little epiphanies unfold before me, and I realize that each one is like a meteor that blazes across the sky, unseen unless one is watching and aware. There is a beauty to each one that makes me marvel once again at the greatness of God. The epiphanies of life seem much the same to me, pointing ever to the creator and his sovereignty over all of life.

The meteors have become metaphors for the unexpected revelations in my life, reminding me of the blessings found in taking the time to look for them. Open my eyes, Lord.

2007-10-04T18:35:00.001-05:00

Joyful Gifts

Our Middle school choirs are really coming along. The students in the classes are rising to the challenges set before them and are singing quite beautifully with some very nice expression. I’ve chosen some rather difficult pieces for their Christmas concert, but they have no idea the music is hard. They’re like sponges—soaking up musical ideas and trying everything they are asked to do with a smile.

The 7th and 8th grade choir is promising to be great this year. The students are working very hard and are already giving me goose bumps when they sing. Wonderful!!! The spirit in the classroom is incredibly unified.

My 6th grade choir is delightful, although a little bit wiggly and chatty, and I’ve really had to work to keep them attentive and focused. Today, I told them I would brook no talking—we were there to work and make something beautiful and excellent happen as a team. The students sat tall in their chairs and really gave it their all, with the exception of one very sweet and funny little guy. I stopped the music, bent down to him, and quickly fixed his posture, music, and addressed the way his technique needed adjusting, trying to help, but not embarrass him, as well as trying to keep the energy of rehearsal moving.

He looked rather sheepish, and I said with a smile, “Remember, I’m very demanding.”

“I noticed,” he replied, smiling back.

“Think how much more you can achieve if you give me 100 percent!” I coached.

Quickly moving back to the music, we worked very hard until the bell, and the sounds they produced were quite lovely.

At the end of class the satisfaction on their faces was plain to see. They had worked hard and it had paid off in huge dividends.

I’m really grateful for this school year. I feel like I’ve finally found my stride in teaching after a long, long spell of going through the motions. It’s days like today with the children that make me glad I didn’t give up when I was so tired and hurting. The sparkle in the students’ eyes when they sang beautifully was an absolute gift from God.

2007-10-03T04:47:00.000-05:00

Enough rain already.

I'd like the gorgeous weather of the weekend to come back, please. A rainy day's not bad when it's just that-- a rainy day. But when the day becomes plural, then it becomes depressing-- especially if I have to get out in it.

Sigh. I have this terrible urge to quote Karen Carpenter.

Don, however, is wishing for more. If it continues to rain, the lake levels will rise, fishing will improve, and brushfires will not be such a threat. Okay, I can buy that, but I still want sunshine-- It lifts my spirit. I think it's supposed to be beautiful again here by Saturday, so at least we'll have a lovely weekend to go outside and play.

I decided this morning to try to look for reasons to be thankful for the rain... here's what I've come up with in the brief time I have to write:

rain is great for sleeping
I love the sound of a hard rain
everything gets so incredibly green after a few days of rain
frogs sing at night
the air smells great
the car gets a bath
rain is great for reading
Florida thunderstorms are intense, but exciting
the lakes become beautiful again
the weather is just a little bit cooler

Care to add to my list?

2007-09-30T16:11:00.001-05:00

What a beautiful day! A cool front came through this weekend and I love this weather. The humidity is much lower, the day breezy, and the air smells really fresh. (I’m partial to adjectives today.) Seriously, it really was a spectacular afternoon. I opened up the windows and am right now typing in the breeze. It’s peaceful.

Marla’s friend Elle is over for the afternoon. They’ve been playing in the yard since just after lunch, and are having a great time. A few minutes ago they both came running to me with something intriguing in Marla’s hand.

“Mommy, look what we found—this was in our yard!” she exclaimed. “We think it’s a snail.”

Looking it over, I knew I’d seen these long white snails when working in the yard, usually in the flowerbeds at the base of the trees.

I asked if they’d like to look online to see if we could find out about it, and they happily agreed. It took just a few seconds to Google “treesnails” and there it was.

“Hey, that’s it!” they squealed as they ran back out into the yard to play.

Isn’t it thrilling to see our children discover beauty? Learning is a marvelous thing. I’m happy for our daughter, that she is learning about the world around her and the joy of friendship at an early age.

Everything feels like a gift today. The weather, this morning’s worship service, my time with the girls; even this time at the computer have lifted my spirits. Really, it’s been a beautiful day.

Martina McBride - In My Daughter's Eyes (LIVE)

2007-09-27T18:21:00.001-05:00

Today I was thinking about how much we see of ourselves in our children. Our sons Daniel and Sam are such wondrous fusions of our DNA and personalities. I love watching them grow as young men, and seeing things that make me think of their Dad and myself.

Our daughter is adopted, and I have often been amazed at how much she seems like us. She smiles like me, resembles Don in the face, and says things constantly that are things we say and do. What I love seeing most is her love and passion for life. It's intoxicating.

I heard this song today and was quickly moved to tears. I hope it speaks to the hearts of my friends who are parents, and my friends who will someday have children.

Blessings.

2007-09-24T17:43:00.000-05:00

Looking Up

I took some time while on vacation this summer to sit on the balcony of our condo and watch the clouds race across the sky over the Gulf of Mexico. I tried to get out there most evenings around 6:30 pm and would watch until the sun set. Some nights Don would join me and we’d watch boats, elephants, cars, and fantastical things pass by.

Earlier this week a tropical depression blew through Central Florida. Don was out of town and it was one of those miraculous evenings when Marla went to bed early and our sons were out. I wandered outside and found a breeze blowing at about 10 miles an hour and temperatures in the mid-seventies. PERFECT! Plopping down in a lawn chair I watched the clouds race west across the sky. The winds were so steady that each cloud had a westerly brush stroke as they rushed overhead. I saw a gargoyle, a wolf, a bear, a fish, outstretched arms, and an angel. Lightning periodically lit up the sky to the west and the clouds were almost luminous. It was better than any movie I’ve ever seen. Incredible! I must have sat there for about 45 minutes just enjoying the show.

I think watching the sky is good for my soul. After just a little time gazing at the heavens, my heart is lighter, my spirit more peaceful, and my perspective adjusted. I could do it indefinitely.

Tonight, while looking through pictures of clouds online, I came across a curious website. The Cloud Appreciation Society. They have a great gallery of pictures should you care to gaze.

I’m hoping to get the daughter off to bed soon so that I can sit outside and look up. Join me and let me know what you see.

2007-09-13T15:55:00.000-05:00

Immortals

Greg’s passing has prompted me to think about life—how short it is for some of us, and long for others. I found myself thinking in very earthly terms… how long will I live? Will I have a quick end, or will I suffer? I then began thinking about eternity, and wondering what it will be like. All these questions made me turn to the bookshelf and begin perusing through some of the books we were given by friends when our son passed away. One book that I picked up off the shelf is Erwin Lutzer’s One Minute After you Die: A Preview of Life's Final Destination.

I was especially captivated by a quote he included from C.S. Lewis's The Weight of Glory, in reference to Heaven and Hell.

“All day long we are in some degree helping each other to one or the other of these destinations. It is in light of these overwhelming possibilities it is with awe and the circumspection proper to them, that we should conduct all our dealings with one another, all friendships, all loves, all play, all politics. There are no ordinary people. You have never talked to a mere mortal. Nations, cultures, arts, civilizations--these are mortal, and their life is to ours as the life of a gnat. But it is immortals whom we joke with, work with, marry, snub, and exploit--immortal horrors or everlasting splendours. This does not mean that we are to be perpetually solemn. We must play. But our merriment must be of the kind (and it is, in fact, the merriest kind) which exists between people who have, from the outset, taken each other seriously--no flippancy, no superiority, no presumption. And our charity must be real and costly love, with deep feeling for the sins in spite of which we love the sinners--no mere tolerance, or indulgence which parodies love as flippancy parodies merriment. Next to the Blessed Sacrament itself, your neighbor is the holiest object presented to your senses. If he is your Christian neighbour, he is holy in almost the same way, for in him also Christ vere latitat, the glorifier and the glorified, Glory Himself, is truly hidden.”

Immortals… until reading this quote I don’t think I’d ever thought of people in this way. Now, I can’t stop thinking about it. All day long, as I met and spoke with all the people I work with, teach, and love, it was if they all had a radiance I’d never seen until now. I began to think more about them and their eternal lives than about my own. All of a sudden, their journey was important to me. Earlier today I was lamenting to a dear friend how confused I am by death and suffering, yet while I spoke, my thoughts were on her… this immortal sitting across from me, and the fact that we will know one another for all eternity. That everything she must walk through in life is preparation for what the Lord has prepared her to do in the Kingdom of Heaven.

2007-09-12T17:08:00.000-05:00

I'm Sad

I’m removing a blog-link from my sidebar at the end of this week-- the personal blog of my friend and coworker Greg Davis. In his blog, Greg set out to journal his battle with cancer with the hope of glorifying the Lord, uplifting others, and processing his own pain. It’s a beautiful blog, and the insights he shares are rich and real. Sadly, there are not that many entries, as Greg’s cancer was diagnosed late in the disease’s development, and his chemotherapy treatments were aggressive and brutal.

Yesterday, on September 11th, Greg passed away. My heart aches for the terrible and painful trial my friend had to endure at the end of his life, for his daughters, and for his friends. He faced it all quite bravely, and was surrounded by people who loved him throughout the course of his illness.

If you’d like to see an example of Greg’s beautiful artwork, follow this link and then choose a video to download (free). One of Greg’s gifts was a love for photography and another a love for poetry. He found a beautiful way to blend the two in the videos.

Tomorrow is Greg’s memorial service. Please pray that God would comfort those who attend and that Greg’s family would be upheld in their grief by Christ. It will be a time of remembrance and goodbyes. For my friend Greg, I'm happy, for "to be absent from the body is to be present with the Lord." 2 Cor. 5:8. For the rest of us, I'm sad.

2007-09-05T04:56:00.001-05:00

Prayer

This is an uncomfortable subject for me. Faithful prayer requires discipline, seeking relationship with God in an intimate way and then waiting for Him to work, move, comfort; this can be hard sometimes. First, I need to be alone, and that doesn’t happen very often during the day. I get up really early every morning so that I can get myself and Marla off to work and school on time, and prayer could easily be worked into that time, but how often do I do it? I am mildly successful, but long to be more faithful in my time with the Lord.

I’ve been a Christian most of my adult life and have had seasons in which I’ve been diligent in my pursuit of prayer and others when prayer has been relegated to simply thinking. Prayer is hard.

I was sent a few cartoons about Church life this week, and one of them struck me right where it hurts.

Ouch!

What a great reminder for me to examine my prayer life (or lack thereof) and begin to reconnect with my heavenly Father in a more intimate way.

2007-08-30T05:51:00.000-05:00

Stargazing

The other night I came home from a late rehearsal to find my husband sitting outside, enjoying a cigar. I sat with him for a while and we mused over the beauty of the full moon and the stars. The moon was incredible—big and luminous. We sat there for over an hour just watching it rise in the sky, and then took out a small telescope to get an even better view. I was reminded of younger days, lying on a blanket on our thick St. Augustine lawn in Bradenton, looking for the man in the moon. Some nights I could see eyes and a mouth… others I’d see the profile of a woman, or a man and a monster.

Last night we ventured back out after dark. The breeze was warm and balmy, the night clear, and the sky spectacular. We stared up into the heavens and enjoyed the view, occasionally breaking the silence to point out a bright star twinkling in hues of red, yellow, and white. This verse from Scripture came into my mind: “He determines the number of the stars and calls them each by name.” Psalm 147:4. Amazing. This also brought to mind Psalm 8:

1 O LORD, our Lord,
how majestic is your name in all the earth!
You have set your glory
above the heavens.

2 From the lips of children and infants
you have ordained praise
because of your enemies,
to silence the foe and the avenger.

3 When I consider your heavens,
the work of your fingers,
the moon and the stars,
which you have set in place,

4 what is man that you are mindful of him,
the son of man that you care for him?

5 You made him a little lower than the heavenly beings
and crowned him with glory and honor.

6 You made him ruler over the works of your hands;
you put everything under his feet:

7 all flocks and herds,
and the beasts of the field,

8 the birds of the air,
and the fish of the sea,
all that swim the paths of the seas.

9 O LORD, our Lord,
how majestic is your name in all the earth!.

Looking at the moon and the stars made me feel very small, but when I thought about this psalm, I was reminded of God’s incredible love and care for all of creation—especially man. The overwhelming beauty of creation is a testament to the glory of God, and his love for his children evident in the place he has given man in creation.

I’m looking forward to another clear night and some stargazing.

2007-08-29T11:35:00.001-05:00

Laughter

I love to laugh-- it's an incredible feeling, and I can't imagine life without it. Laughter can take me all the way to tears without much effort, and brings to me a sense of well-being that I treasure daily. Fortunately, I work with some incredibly funny people. They're bright, witty, fun, and they make me laugh every day. I often think about how great it is to be surrounded by such folks.

I remember the first time our eldest son Daniel laughed out loud as a baby. It was a splendid moment, and I found myself trying to make him laugh over and over again. Such a great sound! Dan's first belly laugh was in response to my making a silly noise while changing his diaper. Sam's came when Daniel pretended to fall on the floor. Jesse's was in response to mom being silly, and Marla's came when the dog was running in circles around her. I'll never forget any of them.

I came across this video yesterday of a baby laughing-- his laugh is completly delightful. I watched it quite a few times and giggled my way through each replay. Enjoy!

2007-08-28T16:33:00.000-05:00

Math Tests

This year I have to take the Teacher’s Certification exam in the General Education domain to renew my Teaching Certificate. I think it won’t be too difficult with the exception of higher mathematics. Math was never my strong point. I’ve spent some time recently trying to brush up on skills I’ve not used in several decades, and it’s been coming back to me very slowly. The area I struggled the most in as a kid was complex word problems. I can remember thinking, “who cares?!” when reading them. I recall one problem in particular that so completely stumped me I decided to write an impossible word problem for the teacher as my answer. He didn’t appreciate my sense of humor.

Today, Lynette sent me an email that made me laugh— a compilation of creative answers to math tests. It hit really close to home!

2007-08-22T15:07:00.001-05:00

Answers

We’ve been praying about the missions trip to Turkey and have been asking for clear direction. Our answer came this morning via email.

The planners for this year’s trip have asked that children not go due to the rigorous schedule. It makes me sad, but at the same time, I’m grateful that the Lord closed the door before we sent out our support letter. Hopefully next year’s team will be able to accommodate traveling with a child, and there’s the added benefit that she will be a year older.

In the meantime, we’re praying that we would be able to continue our correspondence with those we care for there, and are excited to see what the Lord might do. Who knows... maybe we can convince them to come and visit us here?

2007-08-19T13:33:00.000-05:00

Good One

I love a good blonde joke. Not because I have anything against blondes, but because I think I really am one at heart, generally saying and doing more vacuous things than I care to admit, and it keeps the coworkers, hubby, and family amused.

Last night I was washing Marla's hair and had her lay back in the tub to rinse it out. She sat up with her eyes squeezed tightly closed, and proclaimed, "I'm blonde, I'm blonde! I can't see!"

She's blonde???? Oh... I get it (eyes closed... BLIND!)

Good one!

2007-08-16T10:53:00.001-05:00

Dealing with the ramifications of an auto accident can be an extended, often frustrating experience. (Wow. I sound like one of those attorneys on TV.) The accident in June is still a topic of conversation in our home, and probably will be for a while to come. Last night, there was a funny break in the tension.

Don and Marla made a trip to WalMart yesterday and had some duplicate keys made for one of the cars. While waiting, she convinced her daddy to buy her some metallic Disney Princess keys, which she kept out to show me just before bedtime.

“Hey, you’ve got keys!” I said with a smile.

“These are for when I buy my car and I wreck my other one,” she earnestly explained.

I guffawed!

Maybe the words are a little backwards, but still, that was pretty funny coming from a five year old.

2007-08-15T07:03:00.001-05:00

The Simple Truth

Summer is over. Let’s all pause for a moment of silence…

I’ve been wrestling with my calling as a teacher the past few years since Jesse’s death. The first year I taught on autopilot, just doing what felt right, and each subsequent year got just a little harder. It’s hard to be creative when you’re grieving.

Last year I somehow woke up from my funk. I enjoyed my students, and actually began to feel like a teacher again, but I was completely exhausted by the effort. So when this new school year began to loom on the horizon, I had some seriously mixed emotions. Would this year be better than last? Would I experience another resurgence of enthusiasm and skill?

Last week I decided to stop fretting and pray. I prayed that God would remind me why I teach, that he would somehow use me in the lives of my students, and that he’d enable me to do that which he’s called me to do. He’s answered my prayers in the sweetest way possible.

Over the weekend, I got an email from a MS student asking if maybe sometime we could go get coffee, like friends do. (You bet we can!) On Monday I was sitting in the mall with my Dad and my daughter (they were having ice cream) and another one of my HS students came flying up and embraced me, telling me that she’d missed me and that she was taking voice lessons so that she could take choir again next year (this year she must take another course to complete all her credits). Last night we had convocation, and two of my HS students from last year ran up and hugged me, their eyes sparking and faces beaming.

I get it Lord.

I’m not completely prepared for the year, but I’ve been reminded of why I teach:

To love on these kids. Plain and simple. Hopefully, they’ll even learn how to sing in the process.

2007-08-13T20:31:00.000-05:00

The Love Hotel

Ever get the feeling your kids could see something you couldn’t? Sometimes it makes me feel like the Emperor in Hans Christian Anderson’s “The Emperors New Clothes” and other times it makes me laugh at life and myself loud and long.

I had so much fun picking out paint and finding the items needed for our bathroom project, scouring for deals and bargains. We did a really neat thing for very little money—the room makes me smile when I enter it. Don installed some sconces that I picked up and we thought they’d work out great. When he turned on the lights, a soft wash of light bathed the room.

“I think it’s too dark in here. Vic”

“hmmmm…. Yeah… it is kind of dark in here,” I mused.

Don looked at himself in the mirror. “I have an orange face.”

Ha! He did. We decided to leave them up until we could find something else.

A little later, Sam came in, headed down the hallway and flipped on the bathroom lights.

“Aaagghh!” He cried.

Don and I began to smile.

“I feel like I’m in The Love Hotel,” he proclaimed!

I couldn’t stop laughing. I mean, I’d try, but then the laughter would bubble up unbidden every few moments. I’m laughing as I write this.

I think I’m going to leave up the lights and start calling our home The Love Hotel.

2007-08-12T16:40:00.000-05:00

Missions on our minds…

A few weeks ago, Richard Pratt, founder of Third Millennium Ministries, challenged our church to take the Gospel to the Muslim world by building relationships with them. His challenge was quite straightforward. The only way to make a true impact on the spread of Islam is through the gospel of Christ, and the way to do it is through relationships. I thought about our time in Turkey and the friends that we made while there, and the burning desire in my heart to go back and see them. I’ve kept up with one young woman in particular via email, and hope and pray that at some point in our relationship I might have the opportunity to share the gospel with her.

We’re praying about going back to Turkey. There will be a missions team leaving in October to serve for 10 days and Don and I (plus Marla) feel compelled to go. We’ll have to raise support as before, and are confident that if the Lord wants us to go then he will provide.

I don’t know if the Lord will use me in a teaching role this year, but my heart and mind are filled with the memories of the faces of the women I met and connected with. I ache to be useful to the Lord in their lives.

Why not go on a missions trip to a different place-- somewhere closer, perhaps?

Because we have formed relationships in this place, with these people. Relationships are built by time and personal investment… we need to go back.

2007-08-11T10:40:00.000-05:00

Briefly... the ceiling.

2007-08-10T20:07:00.000-05:00

Marvelous Man

Day 13 and we’re almost done! The walls have been painted and a few fixtures put in. We (translate “Don”) still have to connect the plumbing to the sink, put in the lights, and then find a rug, curtain, and towels. Fun! I need to find the last three items for free… think it will happen?

What the picture doesn’t show is the cool ceiling. We painted it a copper color to play off the skylight. When the sun is right overhead the room absolutely glows. I’ve already forgotten the terrible thoughts I was thinking as I painted it. Now it just makes me smile.

I’d like to publicly thank my husband for his hard work on my behalf. He hasn’t complained once (in my presence) about this project.

What a marvelous man!

2007-08-08T21:58:00.001-05:00

The Man in the Tree

What were you like as a child? Were you quiet? Boisterous? Shy?

I was imaginative, and lived in a world of daydreaming, reading books and poetry, and playing “let’s pretend”. I enacted fairy tales with my friends, and spent many an afternoon lying in a hammock watching clouds race across the sky.

I still love to imagine, seeing whimsy in ordinary things all around me. Early this morning Marla and I went for a short bike ride just after our walk. We pedaled down the street until we came to the lane that leads to a nearby lake. Turning down the lane, I saw the huge oak tree that had captured my imagination since I was 12 years old.

The tree stood in a grove of oaks and its great canopy of branches was thick with leaves. If I stood just in front of the tree its knotted and gnarled trunk looked to my young eyes like a man trapped in the tree. It still looks that way to me today. I hope you can see what I do.

2007-08-08T16:00:00.000-05:00

Morning Walks

Most days, Marla and I walk Amos (the dog) in the early morning together. It gives us an opportunity to start the day with some fresh air and we generally talk about whatever she would like to discuss. Today, I had an upcoming Missions trip on my mind and was feeling compelled to pray about it right then. So I asked Marla if she would mind If I talked to God for a few minutes while we walked. (I generally need to pray aloud so that I can stay focused.) So I prayed while we walked, finishing up after a few minutes and thanked Marla for her indulgence, telling her that I was feeling better now that I had talked with God.

She asked how I felt better. Hmmm... how to explain this to a five year old?

“Well,” I said. “It makes my heart feel good to talk to God. Do you ever get that wonderful feeling in your tummy when you’re doing something that makes you feel good?”

“Oh yes,” she replied. “With Gran and Papa.”

“What do you mean?” I probed.

“When I color with Gran, I have that feeling.”

“What about Papa?”

“When he takes me for walks or takes me out to play in his backyard, I have it too.”

It struck my heart so deeply to hear her articulate her understanding of the love and acceptance she feels when she’s with her grandparents. She knows they delight in her.

I wouldn’t trade these early morning walks for anything.

2007-08-07T07:35:00.000-05:00

Perspective

A seemingly simple task can often turn into a study in frustration. Yesterday I began painting the bathroom ceiling with the ultra-thick glaze required to give it the finish we decided upon. It was like painting with wet clay. Ugh. By the time I trimmed out and then rolled the ceiling with it’s first coat I was getting a little grumpy. I recalled how difficult this paint was to use from a previous painting endeavor last year, and that I had vowed never to use it again. Apparently, optimism had clouded my judgment once again. What a pain. Top that off with the simple fact that paint burns when it splatters in your eye. (For a long time.)

Don came to my rescue and offered to do the second coat, (read that as: “Uh, honey, why don’t you let me finish that?”) but had to wait until 9:00 pm to do it as our faithful dryer of 21 years unexpectedly died around 11:00 am. The rest of the day was filled with a visit by the repairman, a pronouncement of death by motor failure, and then finding a replacement. Now normally, I don’t mourn the passing of aged appliances, but this dryer… well, it had dried the clothes of all our babies. I was kind of sad—until Don brought in the new one. He not only found the dryer that is the companion to last year’s new washer, but he got the scratch and dent one from Lowes and saved hundreds of dollars. I was doing the happy dance by dinnertime.

Today is wall day, but I also have to go to work… I may be up painting until late tonight, unless there’s a plumbing leak. Ah well… at least I could dry the towels if it happened.

2007-08-06T06:59:00.000-05:00

Renovation Day 6

The dry wall is done, the baseboards are in, and the walls have been primed! Woo-hoo! With lots of praise, encouragement, and a little meatloaf, the room is finally ready to paint. The really good news is we’re still speaking quite nicely to one another.

Does anyone really care about this besides me? Probably not, but I’m posting pictures anyway.

The plumbing had to be rerouted and then drywall had to go up.

While Don did the dirty work, I painted my grandmother’s mirror to offset the “find”.

We’re painting the ceiling today, and then the walls tonight. Hopefully, we’ll be putting the vanity in by Wednesday.

I painted the hallway with Marla while Don worked on the drywall yesterday. I gave her a paintbrush and told her she could paint as many pictures on the wall as she desired until I was ready to roll the section she had painted. Happy, happy child!

2007-07-31T09:51:00.000-05:00

Needs a little work…

Ten years ago we had no idea how true those words would prove to be. Since buying our home, we’ve slowly been transforming it into a place we love to live, one project at a time. We started by ripping up linoleum, restoring the terrazzo floors, giving it an initial coat of paint, and moving in. Each year, we’d take what was in our meager savings account and invest it in the house, changing it bit by bit, and each year my sweet, tired hubby hopes this will be the last project…

Four years ago, we refinanced and made provision for a large improvement, putting in new windows throughout the house (the old wooden ones were rotting off their frames), nice siding over the concrete block and wood on the exterior, and painting—spending every penny.

Last year, we took the color plunge and painted most of the interior in rich, warm shades. It turned out beautifully.

This summer we’re giving the 1950’s front bathroom a much-needed facelift. (In all actuality, I am the one who thinks it’s needed, and my handy husband has resignedly acquiesced.) Remember, I’m a whim chaser. In my mind, this simply meant putting in a new cabinet, and painting. Uh… I was wrong. This project requires heavy lifting, plumbing, drywall, floor repair, and electrical expertise. I think I need to make a public apology. (And a meatloaf.)

The bright spot in the project so far has been the “find”. We found a cool vanity with sink and faucets at a local home décor place’s scratch and dent warehouse. The scratches are only on the feet, and it has no dents. Cool! We saved ourselves tons of money. (Picture me patting Don and myself on the back repeatedly.)

Will this be the last project? Probably not… I'm sure I can find something that needs a little work.

2007-07-26T14:17:00.001-05:00

Reason Number 2073 To Keep An Eye On A Five Year Old

A creative child can get into trouble in less than 30 seconds. This has been proven in the Taylor household.

I try to work from home a few afternoons a week during the Summer, which really means sitting at the computer for 3 or 4 minutes at a time before having to check on my very creative daughter…

Picture this scene: I am happily writing some instructions for work when I realize the house is just a little too quiet.

“Marla,” I call.

Silence.

“Maar-laaa”, I call again.

No answer.

“You know what that means, Mom.” This from Sam, 21.

“Okay, okay,” I sigh heavily.

To his credit, Sam hunts for her in the front of the house, while I go to the back.

“Found her,” he yells.

I come around the corner to see him pulling her by the feet out from behind a huge mirror that is hung in the corner of the living room.

“Oh my,” Sam says.

“Oh my,” I echo.

Marla has painted her entire face with red lipstick.

2007-07-25T06:39:00.001-05:00

Wind Chimes

There’s something quite magical about the sound of wind chimes. Maybe it’s the way their music reverberates in the air, seeming to come from everywhere and nowhere on a breezy day. I’ve had a fascination for their tones since childhood. My mother had a small wind chime that hung in the kitchen window… the top of it was shaped like a small silver pagoda’s roof, and the tiny bells made the most delightful sounds when the breeze would blow softly in.

When I was in my early 20’s I became enchanted by some chimes in a gift shop on Park Avenue in Winter Park. Almost 3 feet tall, they had a rich, warm tone that was incredibly soothing to me. They were $50.00, and we were newly married with a very limited income. I begged my husband to buy them for me as a Christmas gift, and was thrilled to find he’d done just that when December rolled around. They’ve been hanging in our yard wherever we’ve lived for 28 years.

In 1999 our youngest son Jesse passed away when he was just short of 4 years old and was laid to rest in a cemetery in Winter Park under the shade of an old water oak. It’s really a beautiful spot, and over the years I have often gone there to sit, cry, pray, and remember. A few weeks after his funeral I went to mourn by myself for a while. The breeze was gently blowing and I could hear bells… wind chimes. Someone had hung a fine set of chimes in the tree over his grave. It was beautiful… and somehow comforting to me. Each time I would go back to visit, I would hope that there might be a breeze so that I could hear them.

I told a few friends about the bells and soon I began receiving wind chimes as gifts. I think we have 10 of them now, all hung about the yard in various places. They’re all different sizes and each has a unique sound. Some are melodious, some haunting, some light and airy, and one made of bamboo that kind of clunks. I love them all. They speak to my spirit.

You see, each time they ring, I’m reminded of God’s kindness and mercy. He loves me enough to comfort me in my sorrow in ways that are perfect for me. He reminds me of beauty in the midst of pain, sorrow, and loss. He kisses me with the sound.

2007-07-22T18:29:00.000-05:00

Whims

I’m a whimsical creature, tending to give myself over to new ideas and passions regularly. Right now, I’m a fitness junkie. This year was a big birthday year for me, and I decided that I was going to be fit. I joined a gym in late February, and with the exception of our vacation and a three-day excursion to Chicago, I’ve gone to exercise 4 times a week. I started out slowly, doing some cardio and then light weights. Now, I’m up to an hour on the treadmill and have increased my weight workout. Wow! I feel so good! I think I’d like to make this a permanent addition to my life. Now on to the next whim…

Most of us are good at just a few things. (I mean really good at them.) As a musician, I’m trained in the choral arts, and am pretty good at teaching, directing, etc. This year, I have decided that I want to become proficient in another musical genre in order to grow in my craft. Although I’ve just begun on my journey of self-improvement, I’m finding that it’s already challenging me to the point of humility. I’m going to keep at it though. Nothing ventured, nothing gained, to coin a phrase.

My third whim that I decided to chase this year has been to rediscover my long lost talents at cooking. Years ago, an incredibly tough tragedy struck our family, and I stopped cooking. I just couldn’t do it. I couldn’t remember what I’d put in the food or to turn on the oven. I don’t know how Don and the kids survived, but somehow they did. This year, the whim to try cooking again took me in its delicious grasp. I try a new recipe at least three times a week, and it’s been great fun! Don and the kids have been happily eating all manner of wonderful new dishes-- for the most part. The other night I decided to make barbecued chicken on greens with chipotle dressing, but dinner didn’t turn out as planned. You see, while I was busy trying to pull it all together in the last 10 minutes of preparation, my 5 year old was dancing circles around me, the phone was ringing, and my husband was trying to tell me about something to do with the insurance settlement for the car… I was a little distracted, and failed to read the recipe correctly. It called for 2 tbs. Ancho chilies… I put in the whole can.

“Wow, Vicki, this is really good,” my prince of a husband said as he wiped his brow.

I couldn’t answer, as my mouth was on fire.

“A little hot, maybe, but good.” He ate all of it.

What love! What devotion! What was he thinking?

So for now, I’ll continue to chase my whims… pray for the family.

2007-06-17T17:20:00.000-05:00

Resting

I have just spent two amazing weeks on vacation. Not a lot of travel… not a lot of sightseeing… just vacation. Two weeks spent either watching our daughter play in a pool, looking for seashells with her on Turtle Beach in the Gulf of Mexico, or fishing with my husband. Plus, one excursion to the Ringling Museum of Art.

Restful. That’s it in a nutshell. We agreed at the onset that we’d have absolutely no agenda for our trip other than rest and play. Don slept most of the first three days. Every time I turned around he was either asleep in a chair, on the couch, or on the bed. Normally, this would irritate me to endless bounds, as I’m a go-go-go kind of person, but this time, I really tried to embrace the idea of resting. I sat, read a book, went for walks, colored pictures with Marla, and rested.

Now don’t get me wrong… it wasn’t a perfect trip by any means. We did have a five year old with us, and there was this one day when Don totaled the car. Yes, I said it, “totaled”. On our 7th day in Siesta Key, Don was driving a friend back to Orlando when falling gas prices caught his eye in congested traffic. After giving the price a double take Don returned his eyes to the road just in time to see brake lights in front of him. Bam! No more SUV for the Taylor family. Fortunately, the airbags deployed and kept Don and our friend from injury.

On the bright side, the rest of the trip was remarkably uneventful and relaxing. Daniel and his girlfriend drove over for a couple of days and we all visited a really spectacular beach (Siesta Beach) and enjoyed the beautiful scenery and water. All in all-- a good trip.

Marla had a great time!

Don and I both went back to work today, but I’ve already started saving change for next year’s vacation. We’re talking about going to another favorite place of ours… Naples, Fl., and (you’ve got it) resting.

2007-06-01T04:48:00.000-05:00

Dreaming

I've been dreaming about our vacation. Now it's almost here! One more day... there is only one day left until we get off the work treadmill. I need it this year more than most. It's been a Spring full of major events. On top of my regular work week, in the past four weeks, I've been the music director for a major HS musical with 50 cast members, put together a Disney Review Concert with 84 singers ages 11-17, hosted our daughter's fifth birthday party for her pre-schooler friends, hosted a wedding shower, written a women's session for a Mother/Daughter event, struggled with Laryngitis, and caught a really nasty summer cold. Right now, vacation sounds like heaven.

We're going to Siesta Key. I found a great condo on the internet, and we'll be relaxing by the pool, beach, and bay... if I only had an ipod, I could create myself a vacation play list and truly be relaxing in style.

This is a vacation of almost no agendas. We've saved our money and booked for two weeks (I found an incredible deal) and we're only planning on playing with our daughter. There's a possibility that our son Daniel and his girlfriend will come for a day or two, which would be great! Other than that, we might visit the Ringling Museum of Art one day.

When I was a child and living in the Bradenton/Sarasota area, my mother signed me up for art lessons at the museum. The lessons took place out on the lawn near the Sarasota Bay, in a grove of Banyon Trees. I remember the lessons well, and loved them. But what I remember most is playing in that grove of trees. They had such on otherworldy appearance that it was quite easy for an imaginative child to play for hours there.

I'm really looking forward to it. If I could, I'd vacation all year long... sigh. Maybe when Don retires he can become a plastic surgeon, move me to Sarasota, and I can play in the sand in my golden years... There I go... dreaming again.

2007-04-24T18:26:00.000-05:00

The One That Didn’t Get Away

We’re an interesting pair, my husband and I. He’s a firefighter/EMT, and I’m a school teaching musician. He’s an outdoorsman—I’m a fashion loving girly-girl. Our two grown sons, Dan and Sam are very male but have artistic flares. Daniel is rather shrewd at business, and is a growing musician. Sam loves theater but is currently looking into a career in the military. (gulp) Our daughter Marla is developing into a very funny fusion of the two of us as well. On a typical day she changes clothes at least 5 times, (two of which involve Princess-style apparel.) She also finds some way to be outside with her Daddy, either playing in the yard, or if she’s extra persuasive, fishing.

A few days ago she talked Don into taking her fishing in a small lake near our home. First, the perfect clothing had to be chosen: a lovely pink halter dress, with sparkly “Hello Kitty” sandals. Then she and her dad set about digging up earthworms.

Equipped with her pink Barbie fishing rod, she cast into the water and in a matter of moments had a tug on her line. Don thought she might have caught a turtle, as the tension on the rod and line were significant. She made several attempts to reel in her prize, but the pull was too great so she started walking backwards up the bank. Within just a few moments she pulled a 4-pound bass up on to the shore.

She and Don took the her prize over to my parents’ home to show her Papa the fish, and he captured the moment on his digital camera. Our fashion conscious fisherwoman really caught the big one.

Who knows? Maybe in the future she’ll be setting fashion trends for Gator hunting…

2007-04-05T05:46:00.000-05:00

Swimming Lanes

When I was a little girl we lived in Bradenton, Florida, in a little neighborhood just blocks from a bay that opened into the Gulf of Mexico. There was a community center right on the bay with a huge pool, and my parents took me there as often as possible. I learned to swim there with the other children from the neighborhood. The pool seemed enormous to my young eyes, and the black tiled lanes that stretched the length of the pool were somehow comforting to this novice swimmer. They were like fixed paths that led to the safety of the far wall, and that meant a place to rest and catch my breath. I would keep my eyes focused on them as I swam down the lane, watching them travel beneath me. I loved swimming in that pool.

We also lived a short distance from the sugary sands of Bradenton Beach. My Mother would coat me down with Suntan lotion (there was no such thing as sunscreen yet), put a huge hat on my head, and take me to play in the sand for hours. The Gulf waters were warm and the surf gentle, and though I loved to swim, I was uncomfortable doing so in that vast expanse of water. The gulf was fairly clear on most days, and I could see the bottom when my daddy would carry me in to wade and play. He would encourage me to swim back to the shore, but I stubbornly clung to him… I didn’t want to swim in this water. There were no lanes to follow. In my young mind, I didn’t trust the water with no clear path to guide me.

It’s been a very long time since I was that little girl. The Lord has taken me to places that have been beautiful and terrifying, and in each place I’ve found myself looking for lanes so that I might be able to navigate my way through them. Just as in the gulf as a child, I looked to my daddy to carry me back to the shore, and as an adult, I’ve needed to be carried through many circumstances when the lanes I hoped to see weren’t there. In the ocean of pain and suffering, I’ve found myself lifted up repeatedly by the mercy and grace of God, by the strong arms of Jesus, and by the prayers of others on my behalf. When I couldn’t see a way to survive, Christ lifted me and took me to the shore, and reminded me again that I will not always be able to see the path that leads to safety. There will continue to be situations in life that will be faith challenging, but He will be my guide— he’ll lead me to a place to rest. So, I stubbornly cling to him in faith— knowing, trusting, and believing he will deliver me to the perfect shore of his choosing.

Summer is almost here, and we’ll be vacationing near those sandy beaches of my childhood. I can hardly wait to sit in my chair, listen to the gentle surf, and wiggle my toes in the fine powdery sand. I might even wade in the water a bit, but I’ll probably save my swimming for the pool with the lanes.

2006-12-25T18:48:00.000-05:00

Extraordinary Moments

How often do we have them? I feel a bit charmed… I’ve had my share. I love “moments”. Recently, I’ve had the pleasure of quite a few. One came in the form of the sparkle I saw in the eyes of my MS choirs as they sang at their Christmas Program. It felt a bit magical as they sang and responded to direction with their spirits and their voices. Another came a week later when the wonderful community choir I directed sang their Christmas Concert. The whole concert was great, but their singing of Randall Thompson’s “Alleluia” was really moving. Wow--- I wanted to just stand there and breathe for a bit. Then, last night at our Christmas Eve service, I was carried for just a few moments on the wings of a really great musical set of songs—just beautiful! My spirit sang along with my voice and I was wishing I could capture the experience and somehow relive it later.

The best moment came today, at home with our four year old daughter. This year we decided to buy a trampoline that was safety-netted and allow our bouncy daughter the opportunity to really bounce. She’s been jumping on everything since she learned to stand, and today she jumped until she could bounce no more.

Spent from about 40 minutes of continuous jumping, we lay on the pad with our heads together and looked up into the canopy of leaves above us. The sky was grey and the wind was stirring around us in small gusts. The leaves whispered and sighed in their rustling. “Listen,” I whispered. “Do you hear that?

“Yes,” she whispered back.

“That’s the sound of the wind in the trees. Do you hear it get louder and softer?”

“Yes, it’s beautiful,” she breathed.

There it was—a “moment” with my daughter. She’d proclaimed the sound beautiful. Contented sigh… I love such moments. They’re extraordinary.

2006-12-07T19:54:00.000-05:00

Meals, Music, and Memories

Last Saturday night we hosted a dinner for the folks in our area who went on the missions trip to Turkey. Like every good hostess, I cleaned my house (except for the teenager’s bedroom) and organized the meal, which was slightly more Greek than Turkish, but the middle-eastern flair was there. A staple in Turkish cooking, eggplant was on the menu most places we ate… so I looked up area Turkish restaurants online and found a common denominator: Moussaka. It’s delicious, and decidedly different. My friend Rita brought a wonderful soup that reminded all of us of the soup we ate on the terrace of the cave hotel. As in Turkey, our plates were heaped with sumptuous foods, and we reminisced over the fabulous meals we had eaten together on our trip.

The two photographers in our group brought slides to share and we all ooo’ed, ahhh’ed and made various funny comments about the pictures as they moved across the screen. I was unprepared to be stricken with heartache… my heart yearned to be back on the streets of Istanbul, to be climbing the golden hills of Cappadocia, and exploring the ruins of long ago civilizations. When pictures of those we’d met and come to love while there appeared on the screen I found myself whispering their names. Dear people—some brothers and sisters in faith, and some Muslim. I miss them.

Moving through my oh-so American life has seemed slightly surreal since our return. Days are filled with busyness… programs to plan and perform, choirs and ensembles to rehearse, meetings, meetings, and more meetings, and family. The days go by in a blur, and the stress to get everything done is tremendous. I miss the beauty and the mystique of Turkey.

I’ve tried to find a sense of balance by enjoying the beautiful music of the Middle East in my home and car. When our friends were over I played a cd in the background that I’ve not been able to stop listening to. I found the artist online while looking for Turkish music. The artist isn’t Turkish, but the music is a mix of Persian, Turkish, Iranian, and Bulgarian. It’s just beautiful. The singer’s voice is rich and warm, and her artistry is evident in her interpretation of 14th century chants and contemporary folk melodies. So, the music of Azam Ali plays in our home while I cook and work. Our daughter says it reminds her of Turkey, and my husband says it reminds him of the incredible vistas of Cappadocia. The other night he said that the melodies evoke memories of standing on a hill overlooking a golden valley… the very earth seemed to sing in a similar way.

Maybe I’m enamored with the country because it’s the location of my first missions trip. Maybe it’s because I’m an idealist and romantic who loves all things exotic. Maybe it’s just me being quirky, but I have to say I think I may never be the same. Something deep called to my spirit. Now, when I drift off to sleep my dreams are flavored with the scent of spice hanging in the air, interlaced by hauntingly beautiful melodies that seem to float up from a mystical landscape blurred with golden hills, ancient marble, caves, moonlight, and throngs of people.

2006-11-25T08:40:00.000-05:00

Quirky

I’m a musician, and after sitting under countless music directors, I’ve come to the conclusion that most choral directors (myself included) are quirky. The music we try to create often has greater mystery and beauty to us than to those we endeavor to create it with, therefore we coach, cajole, plead, demand, and sigh… a lot.

One director I studied under varied in his quirkiness by either hilarious flashes of humor, or sudden outbursts of temper. Another used humor to keep the rehearsal moving along, and then in the middle of directing a piece would begin to focus his eyes up and to the left… just above the heads of the choir. We often wondered what he saw over there during anthems. I sat under one director’s leadership for just a short two seasons, as his quirk was to berate the choir repeatedly… not much fun. A director I loved singing under had the most beautiful presence before the choir. He simply exuded artistry and confidence. All were great musicians, and all got amazing results from their choirs.

The evening after our return from Turkey, I began rehearsals with 40+ singers from several area churches to prepare a Christmas Concert for Reformed Theological Seminary. I spent several months choosing the music, and think we’ll have a great program, but rehearsing challenging music with a volunteer choir is challenging in itself, and I’ve experienced my quirkiness coming forth in rehearsals more and more as we draw near the performance date.

I long for the singers to truly experience the wonder of singing something truly beautiful with skill and artistry. I’ve been encouraged by their efforts, and think we might just pull it off. As a singer, one can truly be transported when the voices finally blend with beauty, breath, and articulation—it can be quite stirring personally, something I hope that this group will be able to experience in this program. However, not all of the music is easy…there are a couple of challenge pieces that need greater study by the singers and better direction from me.

Hence the quirk. I’m a little nervous about these two pieces, and I find myself searching for analogies and metaphors that will somehow speak to those in the group that aren’t quite ‘feeling it’… and often resort to humor, followed by pleading and cajoling. Humor is a huge part of my life, and springs forth from my mouth often unbidden, which can be a bit unsettling to those not so given to mirth. Sometimes I sense the whole choir is with me in my joviality, but often my eye strays to that person or two who thinks I might need medication. Viva la difference! To me that is what makes this community effort so rich. God has brought a diverse group of quirky people together to create wonderful music to His glory. Using all of us at our varied levels of skill to strive together toward the goal of creating an exciting concert.

We have three rehearsals left… please Lord, let us sing with beauty, passion, skill, and artistry. In the meantime, may we enjoy the quirkiness of one another.

2006-11-18T08:47:00.000-05:00

Re-entry, Work, and Dreams

Back to work. Not much time for rest or recovery from jet lag. We got up bright and early Monday morning and headed off to school and work (except for Don, who had the luxury of one day off left.) The first day was not too bad—I guess it was still the exhilaration of our experience that was still coursing through our veins… but the next day… oh my. Not good.

Tired child, tired parents, and way too much work to do. We stumbled through the next week just trying to be patient with one another and not say or do anything we might regret for too long. Marla came down with a serious cold about 4 days after our return and went from tired and crabby to tired, sick and crabby. On Saturday afternoon, she and her Dad were standing in the kitchen and she was begging for some goodie out of the pantry… Dad was doing his best to ignore her entreats and finally snapped. “Marla,” he said. “It’s not going to happen. You cannot have it.” Normally our little girl is relatively compliant and can be rerouted if one is clever, but this day she’d had it. Tired, Sick, and Crabby kicked in. Putting her hands on her hips, feet akimbo, and scowling her most ferocious scowl, she looked straight at her Dad and said, “I’m going to turn you into a different color!” Then stalked off to her room.

Wow… a different color. That’s pretty harsh! Fortunately she hasn’t figured out how to pull it off, although I do take a quick look at Don when I get home from work most days, just to be sure.

The next four weeks passed rather blurrily, with the fatigue slowly receding. I can hardly believe we’ve been home a month. The images from our trip keep replaying in my mind, and the faces of the people we met and care for are still vivid. I’ve been keeping up with the few who speak English via email, and keep the others before me in pictures so that I might pray for them when I see them. Please Lord, let us return to see these dear people again. Until then, we’ll work at our jobs, go to school, and love those the Lord has given us to love here at home.

Speaking of those at home, we’re gathering together as a Missions team in two weeks for a Turkish meal. It will be so much fun to be together, reminisce, look at pictures, and eat great food. The only thing that would make it even more fun would be if our brothers and sisters from the church in Alabama could join us. We’ll certainly be thinking of them as we give thanks.

Until then, it’s work as usual. Teaching Middle and High School music and church work for me, Firefighting for Don, and School for Marla will fill our days and evenings. Add to that the schedules of our two grown sons, Daniel and Sam, and there is very little down time. The cool thing is, we feel slightly Turkish now. The music of the country plays in our home, and as we go to sleep each night, the demands of the week play through our minds underscored by hauntingly beautiful melodies, visions of golden mountains, exotic cities, the ruins of Greek and Roman civilizations where the apostle Paul took the Gospel, Christian Symbols carved into the marble streets and columns, and the faces of those we fell in love with while there.

2006-11-02T20:02:00.000-05:00

Sunday, October 15, 2006

I’ve always enjoyed flying,… until I took my first international flight. I’m a very positive person, but long flights turn me into a Whiner. Remember the old Saturday Night Live skit? That’s me on the return flight from Turkey. Flying really long distances is just not fun. Legs cramp. Ankles swell. You can’t get comfortable. The seats don’t quite recline enough… I’m getting whiney just writing about it. Thank heaven for in-flight movies, snacks, beverages, and stewardesses who help with small comforts, and put up with whiners like me. Wouldn’t it be great if we could all fly first class? There’s a lot of room up there!

The flight over to Turkey was long, and we hit the ground running. The flight back to JFK felt like it was twice as long, and then the connection to Orlando seemed to take an eternity. It’s funny how fatigue can change your perspective. We departed Istanbul about 12:30 pm (remember that Istanbul is 7 hours ahead of us) and landed in New York at 2:30 Eastern Standard time. Then we sat in the JFK terminal until 7:30 pm, and on the runway until 8:30. Our plane finally landed at 11:30 pm. Grand total: 20 hours of travel. I needed to be at work at 8:30 the next morning to start catching up on things. Knowing that my whining would probably irritate those seated near me, I concentrated on whining internally. Miserable—that was me.

Hitching a ride home from the airport with Joe and Rita, we arrived home about 12:30, hugged our Sam, and settled our over-tired child into bed. She was glad to be home, and was thrilled to be under her soft covers.

I decided to unwind with a hot bath and then made it to bed around 2:30. Lying in bed, I could still feel the soaring movement of the airplane beneath me and visions of the last 10 days played in my head while I waited for sleep. What a trip! What an amazing opportunity! What marvelous people! Thank you Lord. I wasn’t feeling whiney anymore. I was feeling joyful, peaceful, and very grateful.

Here are a few of the things I smiled over as I drifted off to sleep.

Arriving at the Hotel SABA-- our first day in Istanbul.

Marla and Don... his face says it all!

Reggie and Randy at the Hagia Sofia.

Lynne, Leah, and Mary Beth with a Cappadocian woman selling scarves.

Don, Marla, and me in Cappadocia.

Don and Lynne

These ladies are the real thing!

Delightful Dan.

Leah at Pergamum.

The Thinker...

Marla having a magnificent time!

Don and I

Mary Beth and Sam

Invisible Swordplay

Ahu and Marla

Gina

Joe and Rita

Life immitates art...

2006-10-28T19:27:00.000-05:00

Friends, Flights, Food, and Farewells

Saturday, October 15, 2006

Up early and out the door by 7:15. We had a 9:00 am flight to catch that would take us back to Istanbul. Our guide would see us to the airport, and we were all reluctant to part with her. Her spirit was as lovely as her countenance, and we would all miss her, especially Marla. Over the past three days she and Marla had developed quite an attraction. Nearing the airport she turned to me and said that she’d grown quite fond of Marla and our family. We exchanged email addresses and promised to stay in touch, and as as we all unloaded the bus, we hugged one more time, inviting one another to visit our respective homes. I hoped that we would someday get to see her again.

Our flight was booked solid, and security was tight. As we crossed the tarmac and boarded our plane, I was sad to say goodbye to the Western Coast of Turkey, and even more the people I’d met. I never expected to see such marvelous historical sites, or to make friends that would so deeply impact my heart.

We arrived in Istanbul around 12:30, and then met up with our bus. Joe talked the driver into dropping Don and Lynne at the airport hotel where they would stay the night and then catch a 5:00 am flight to Amsterdam and then to New York. It was sad to say good bye to them even though we knew we’d see them back in Orlando in a few days. Their departure from the group was another sign that our time in Turkey was drawing to an end.

Checking back into the hotel SABA felt a bit sad too. This was our last night here, and none of use wanted to leave this otherworldly place. Don and I talked about the great challenge we would have explaining this incredible trip to others. How could we possibly communicate what the Lord had done in our hearts and lives? How could we adequately describe the things and places we’d seen? Especially, how could we communicate to others our love for brothers and sisters in Christ living in this exotic country? Only one thing was certain in our minds, we wanted to come back.

We all met around 5 to discuss our dinner options. Dan was all for finding a new and cool restaurant, but the rest of us were tired, and weren’t terribly supportive of an adventurous last night… we ended up back at the buffet near the tram stop. One of our contacts met us for dinner and we talked about the work of the Lord in Istanbul. This country, so rich in Christian history, was now 99% Muslim. The church in Turkey needs our prayers and support. As I pushed the last of my food around on my plate, I prayed that the Lord would find us useful for His purposes here.

There was just a little time left to the evening, so Don, Randy, Marla, and I strolled a bit up and down the street. I stopped at a small shop and bought the small round tablecloth that had caught my eye earlier in the week. (I got a GREAT deal!) We wandered back to the hotel, knowing we’d need to pack and prepare for the long trip home.

Hearing someone call my name, I turned to see Mary Beth and Sam coming up behind us. They wanted to say goodbye tonight, as they’d be catching an earlier flight back than the rest of us. We promised to stay in touch and moved on into the hotel.

Bedtime was quick— we were exhausted. I set my phone’s alarm for 6:00 am, and fell into bed. If I fell asleep quickly I might just get 6 hours sleep. My mind was preoccupied with the early flight to New York, and the long hours of flying ahead of us. I could feel sleep beginning to wash over me and could still hear the noise of the crowds from our sidewalk dinner. On our last night in Turkey, I prayed for my friends, prayed for our ministry here, and prayed that the Lord would make a way for us to return.